Fear has been my best friend lately. My husband and I split two months ago. I have been trapped in fear on so many levels in every direction. Fearful of letting go of the love I had and wishing it didn’t end. Fearful of not being able to take care of myself financially. Fearful of what others will think. Fearful that the awful things my husband has said about me are true.
Dwelling on what is wrong with the situation and wrong with ourselves is the natural path we take when we are going through a difficult time…especially heart break.
Today I received a phone call from my landlord- one of those people who I have been afraid to call. I know in order to take care of my children, I feel that I need to downsize to a less expensive home. However, I have been afraid to do so…what if I break my lease and don’t get a good reference, will I not be able to find a new home?
I answer the phone and my landlord began by thanking me for helping her through one of the most difficult times in her life. Me? How? What was she talking about? Last year when I rented her home, I gave her a copy of my book as she handed me the keys to her beautiful home. What I didn’t know at the time, was that she was going through a divorce and was feeling down about herself and her life. She continued by saying that my book helped her regain her sense of self. As she went through the exercises, she found herself again, she focused on what was beautiful about her, how amazing her life is and began to take the steps to rebuild. Nine months later her life is beautiful again and she recognizes her amazing self! Bottom line, her self-confidence has been restored.
I thanked her for sharing with me and in turn by doing so, she helped me realize that I needed to re-apply to myself what I teach others.
I wrote my book after going through a terrible divorce and living on food stamps. I rebuilt and became even stronger because of the difficulties I had faced. DUH, how could I forget so quickly?
Because that is what happens. We continually go through difficulties in life. When life presents another blow to the heart we either bury it and move on (only to have it resurface later or worse…wash rinse, repeat) , we hide under the covers, or we can do the work.
The self-help Guru needed a dose of her own teachings….
I hung up the phone and decided to re-apply to my life what I taught others. It was time to let go of the fear and focus on who I truly am, what gifts I have, what I am grateful for, what I have accomplished, and most importantly…how I haven’t failed. It’s a beautiful opportunity to rebuild and become more. I am fine! YES..I AM MORE THAN FINE! I can do this! I give myself permission to stop feeling sorry for myself and start taking action towards building my life in a new way…an even better way.
Fear is the opposite of Love
When we focus on what’s wrong with us and continually fear what may happen, we block the love that surrounds us and the love from those who so desperately want to lift us up and mirror back to us how beautiful and amazing we are.
I AM __________.
I am beautiful, kind, loving, and smart and more. I am safe. It’s all okay…it’s only change. As I say in my book The Beauty Blueprint “change is inevitable…we attract who we are, not what we want”. I now embrace change and celebrate who I am.
How about you? It’s your turn. Who are you, truly? Are you fighting change?
Here’s to love and letting go of fear!
Michelle
michellephillipsblog.com 