Best Selling Hay House Author

Am I Pretty?

In a disturbing new trend thousands of girls as young as 11 and 12-years old are posting videos on YouTube asking the question, “Am I pretty?” This public call for validation shows a dangerous lack of self-worth and an unhealthy focus on outer beauty at an early age.

Am I pretty? The answer is YES!

As a Celebrity Makeup Artist and Life Coach I have been working with people for years to build their ‘beauty’ from the inside out. Usually though the questions of; “Am I pretty?” “Am I good enough?” or “Am I worthy?” don’t really start to weigh on us until life as taken its toll a little bit more. Seeing such a display of low self-esteem at such a young age though really troubles me so I feel strongly that this is a topic that needs addressing.

Whether it is the images in the media, social networking, or increased peer pressure, people, especially teen girls, are feeling pushed to look and act a certain way. One of the things they don’t understand is that in trying to find acceptance online they are opening themselves up to even more negative influence. The relative anonymity of the internet creates a breeding ground for hostility and hate resulting in wave of hurtful responses to their videos. Not to mention the fact that online predators are constantly lurking, typically preying on girls in this exact age range.”

To remedy this I suggest a variety of solutions.

– Monitor your child’s internet usage! The web is just that, a dangerous place for those that get caught up in it. There are just as many physical and emotional hazards to be found in the virtual world as there is in the real world.

– Talk to your kids about their ‘beauty’. Have your child create a list of their most beautiful qualities; their values, dreams, and maybe even throw in some physical attributes they love as well. By working to build a foundation for what makes them uniquely beautiful you create a source for real and lasting self-worth.

– Model strong self-esteem yourself. Even with all of the other sources of information your kids have access to you are still their biggest influence. By relating to them your self-worth you are instilling that same value in your kids.

Most important is have as open a line of communication with your kids as possible. And when the question “Am I pretty” is ever asked by you or them, the answer is always “Yes!”

After working in the beauty industry as a make up artist and stylist for celebrities, I can tell you- first hand- that the women who sat in my chair did not look nearly the same as they did once they had an army of stylists, lighting experts, photographers, and then computer experts create their on camera look.

With so many girls comparing their looks to those of the models and actresses they see on TV, in the movies, or magazines, it is important that they understand that what they see is not reality. What we do need to see is the beauty inside of us all. While working to help my own daughters develop a positive outlook on their beauty inside and out, I encourage them to focus on all of their unique qualities. They are uniquely beautiful and it is important for them to take pride in their kind nature, compassion for others, their gifts, and talents. These are just of a few of the things that make them truly beautiful.

I am posting this video to show our girls what goes on behind the scenes to make models and on camera personalities achieve the looks that for 99% of us is unobtainable.

Hats off to the Dove campaign for their continued effort to help real women and young girls love who they are for their own unique beauty!

Getting back on track

Every January we start off with the best of intentions. We make goals for better health, financial security or any number of things but by this point in the New Year a lot of people have fallen off of the resolution wagon. So do you just give up and try again next year? I say NO and here are some ways to keep you going…

First off, how do we get off track?

Anytime you set out on a new course there is always a chance that things may not work out the way you planned. Unfortunately, when we get fixated on how we think success should look and how fast it should come, we tend to give up at the first speed bump. Then we feel as if we have failed and it’s a vicious cycle of beating ourselves up…and feeling worse off than we did before we set the goal…

How do we stick with our new goals?

Plan on falling off track! It’s normal. The trick is to say, no worries, I am going to start over with more determination this time

Set goals that are more realistic this time around. I think we set huge goals for ourselves and when we don’t see results right away, we get frustrated and quit. Set the big goals but with milestone goals along the way to continually feel a sense of accomplishment while keeping your eye on the prize.

When you write down your goals, does fear come up for you? Write down the fear. Then once you look at that fear, write down what doesn’t scare you about it. (Like when you lose 20lbs you will feel better, have more energy, not to mention a huge sense of accomplishment).

The important thing is to not be unnecessarily hard on yourself. You’re human, with the best of intentions, but lending your voice to the chorus of negative voices in your head will definitely not help encourage you towards your goals. This year, take small steps to create your most beautiful life! If you need some support, call me on the radio and we will work through it together.

What do you love about yourself and why?

This article was sent to me by Angela Jones, a plus size model whose passion is to help women break free of trying to be “perfect” and embrace their own true beauty. I loved this article so much, I asked if I could post it on my blog to share with all of you~

In Love and Beauty~

Michelle Phillips

Natural Beauties…by Andrea Dodd

That was the premise of our evening. Angela and I – giddy to induce an awakening, or enlightening at best; planned the second event of it’s kind, for Plus Size Models Unite. Our lovely guests offered their vulnerable hearts in the truths they imparted on the topic… what they love about themselves. What they would tell their 13-year-old selves. How do you define beauty?

Looking around the table, I was amazed at the purge of innocence. We all seemed to struggle with the first question… but allowing time to let it resonate offered real definition. If only this event was nationally recognized… what a beauty movement it could be.

As our evening progressed, our purpose broke the surface. Walls fell. Honesty rose from depths… some harder and darker than others. But, the climate was safe, radiating with an energy of feminine confidence. An understanding. We are all susceptible to the societal and cultural biases of the way a woman’s body “should” look. Some able to see through the noise. Some, if affected at just the precisely impressionable moment; are left forever fighting for clarity. So many factors shape a woman’s paradigm of beauty. Consequently, a softening of current “beauty” standards must occur. What we love about ourselves has to become the topic–not what we despise. Let the change we fight for be noble, not superficial.

Our daughters are watching.

I propose acceptance and truth. It’s there that we will find peace with our perfect imperfections and embrace our natural beauty.

Andrea Dodd

What do you love about yourself and why?

My face tells you exactly what I’m thinking~ my eyes really are the window to my soul. My smile is my truth. I love the physical strength of my body, and my endurance of my soul to obtain peace and live there ~ gratefully basking in my blessings.

How do you define beauty?

Confidence. Grace. Healthy mind and body. A strong laugh. Good posture. Defining best attributes in style and make-up. Never excusing flaws.

What would you tell yourself at the age of 13?

Be a little more daring. Don’t worry so much about your frizzy curly hair and crooked teeth. You are strong and loving. Your body is exactly as it should be and you’re loved because you’re YOU. And, one day you’ll have a fame-worthy smile, so say’s your best friend you just met, 12 years later.

Heidi Brager

What do you love about yourself and why?

I like my eyes. They link me to my family. I can express my moods with my eyes and how I make them up. They can be innocent or they can be smokey and sultry. They can be tired and sad or delighted. The eyes are the windows to the soul.

How do you define beauty?

Beauty is how you feel. How you carry yourself. I love seeing women discover their own beauty when they see themselves in a new way or through a new perspective.

What would you tell yourself at the age of 13?

Stop trying to be something you’re not. Own who you’re feeling you are. One day you’ll be happy that you are you. And, don’t get in that tanning bed!

Jill Kramer

What do you love about yourself and why?

I love that I know I’m a good person. I’m real, honest, and I laugh a lot and I pay attention to the little things. I listen when people talk, and I believe that day+day+day=your life. The little things matter. I want to make sure the people in my life know how amazing they are and how happy & lucky & blessed I feel to have them in my life. I want to make them feel unique and special.

How do you define beauty?

Real, true, honest beauty shines from within. Real beauty is honest and real. Good, sincere, genuine people are stunning. With a sense of humor, and passion are beautiful. Be passionate about what you believe in and who you are. Beauty follows.

What would you tell yourself at the age of 13?

Don’t take yourself too seriously. Have goals, be curious-but enjoy and savor each and every day along the way. Take time to find beauty, happiness, laughter & joy in the smallest, most simple things. Worry is the misuse of imagination. Laugh. Be trustworthy. Have integrity and be true to yourself. Seek wisdom in the ages but look at the world through the eyes of a child…see its beauty.

Kelsey Schalock

What do you love about yourself and why?

I love my freckles!! I think what makes me unique and special is my ability to make people laugh. I try to find the best in any situation.

How do you define beauty?

Beauty is something that can only be found in the eye of the beholder, but to me, a beautiful person is someone who is down to earth, full of life, caring, and courageous.

What would you tell yourself at the age of 13?

I would tell myself the sky is the limit.

Cortney Covert

What do you love about yourself and why?

I like that I’m compassionate, sensitive and I like that when I put my mind to something…I can do anything. I’m a good mom and very loyal.

How do you define beauty?

Being confident, and secure in who you are and just truly be a good person.

What would you tell yourself at the age of 13?

Don’t sweat the small stuff and embrace your body. Don’t worry what other people think and be confident in who you are as a person. Always love yourself.

Nicole Firestone

What do you love about yourself and why?

I love that, as I get older, wrinklier, and flabbier, I become more content with who I am. I trust my instincts more. I like my eyes. I think their honest and patient. Special ~ I have an insatiable desire to understand the human soul.

How do you define beauty?

Confidence. The willingness to take chances knowing you’ll look like a fool. Admitting your mistakes ad imperfections. Humility mixed with reason.

What would you tell yourself at the age of 13?

No matter where you go–you’re always there! Sooner or later, you have to really dig deep and face yourself. Also, be kind to yourself. You are your own worst enemy and the best friend you’ll ever have.

Trust yourself.

Sarah Howell

What do you love about yourself and why?

I love my eyes and arms. Why? My eyes were something I grew up hating and my arms…I grew to love my arms. They are like my grandma’s big and buff and it reminds me how hard of workers we are. My eyes are from my mom. When I see them, I think of her. I’m a survivor. I’ve been strong my whole life.

How do you define beauty?

Your soul! What is in your heart. Everyone is beautiful in a different way. Whether it is your eyes, lips, butt, etc. everyone has something that makes them unique and beautiful…everyone.

What would you tell yourself at the age of 13?

Stop worrying about what other people think you look like. Love what you have been given. We are all beautiful!

Top 5 Tips for Enhancing Your TRUE Beauty

Glance at any fashion magazine and you are sure to be inundated with products and techniques to keep up with the latest celebrity looks. Here some simple tips to enhance our own true beauty without breaking the bank.

First of all, we need to go back to the basics of classic beauty. Less is more! It’s that simple!

Concealer is a must…even if you don’t wear a foundation. Try a concealer with a yellow base to it. Apply only on the inner corner of your eye and lightly blend out. There is no need to apply to the outer corner of eye. If you do this, you will look like a raccoon and accentuate any fine lines you may have
Fill in your brows! Properly arched brows that are lightly filled in with a pencil or powder that matches your brow color will create more of an open eye look and lift the eye area. The goal is to look more youthful!
Blush…apply your blush on your cheekbone…not under. Blush should never be applied below the imaginary line that goes from your nostril to your ear. The lower the blush is applied the older you will look. Avoid Brown tones when it comes to blush, brighter tones will give you a healthy glow.
Eye shadows should remain neutral. Trends are fun…but only on teenagers. Warm tones bring out any eye color.
Mascara is best when applied on the top lashes only. For a more dramatic evening look go for top and bottom. If you have dark circles under your eyes, avoid mascara on bottom lashes all together.

We are all beautiful! Keep in mind that make up is supposed to enhance your beauty, not cover it up.

A Case of the “What Ifs”

Isn’t it incredible how fear can nearly paralyze us and it isn’t until we really hit a major crisis that we see how strong we are? Strength comes from many different things. Mainly from going through a lot of negative experiences and through the process of overcoming these experiences we gain more strength and learn how to be tough, be strong, and plow through.

However, a lot of us still have fear to take the next step in life that is needed to go in the direction that we truly want to go in. This does not involve the type of strength that appears suddenly when hit with crisis. Most of us don’t take the steps necessary to go for our dreams because we think we are not going to be strong enough to take on what it involves to go there. Or we are afraid of failure? Or success? What if? Attached to outcomes…we all want things to turn out exactly the way we see them…but what if they don’t? Do we have the strength to handle that outcome? Do we have the strength to make it through if it is harder than we thought? What if people around me think I am crazy? What if my spouse doesn’t like me anymore because I am doing things differently? What if I can’t pay my bills? What if I take time away from taking care of everyone else? What if I appear selfish? Am I being selfish?

First of all, stop and think of all of the things that will be positive about the changes you will make. Write them down. What if it does create everything you have always wanted? What if your journey takes you in a different direction than anticipated, yet it is still better than where you are now. What if your new experiences create such positive energy and excitement despite the difficulties that come with change? What if you find that you are an even more incredible person than you ever thought you were capable of becoming? What if you do have the strength to handle anything that comes your way? What if people turned around after you started your journey and noticed how incredible your life is becoming because you took a risk, believed in yourself, and no matter what, the process made you stronger, created positive change and now your friends and family are coming to you for advice on how to improve their lives? YEAH??? Well, I can tell you that most likely the positive things that I just mentioned will occur. Now are you scared? If you only knew what you truly are capable of…you would never fear again.

One leg at a time

One of the questions that anyone who works with celebrities hears is, “What’s he or she really like?” As a celebrity make up artist one of the most frequent requests for dirt I got was, “What do they look like without their make up?” I can tell you for the most part everyone I worked with was nice, or at the very least, they were all professionals. On the fact or fiction behind America’s fab faces, they were all beautiful. The reality behind my experiences with celebs was that we were there because we had a job to do.

Whether they were there to make a TV or live appearance or we were on the set of a photo shoot, I gave them room to study their lines or get emotionally settled before going on. They in turn let me do my job, putting on their faces and getting them camera ready. Sorry gang, no tell all here, quite the contrary…

Inevitably, once the vast number of celebs got comfy in my make up chair, they did want to chat but not about a tawdry behind-the-scenes affair with their co-star or how the caviar was at Cannes this year. Nope, most stars wanted to talk about their kids. They wanted to talk about whatever they were involved in outside of work that they were truly passionate about. More than anything though they talked about how hard it was to keep it all together every day while they juggled kids, work, fashion, and passion. The more we talked the more I realized they are just like you and I. For some reason, whether it’s warranted or not, we hold celebrities to a higher standard. We put them up on a pedestal that is both making life more difficult on them to maintain, and on us to attain. The reality is, whether they do it themselves, or their personal assistant does it for them, celebrities put their pants on just like you and I, ‘one leg at a time’!

6 months to live – try 4 years and counting!

One of the greatest inspirations you could ever have to be a better person and give back is my friend Lori Zudell. She has been one of the guiding lights in my life and I hope her story will be for you as well. Upon coming up with the idea for the show, “Courage and Grace”, I could think of no one better to highlight than her!

Diagnosed with colon cancer and given 6 months to live, today she not only is she alive… she THRIVES!. And that was 4 years ago. Since the taping of this interview she has gone on to do amazing things in the area of Healing Arts. Check out her website http://www.helpingyouthrive.com . This is one of my stories from the Courage & Grace Series. If you have a story of Courage & Grace to share. Please make a post or contact me.