Change Your Attitude

By Joan Herrmann

“You’re fat!” “You’re stupid!” “You don’t have the right education!” “You’ll never be able to get the promotion!” “No man will ever want you!” “You’re old!” “She doesn’t like you!” “You’re ugly!” “You can’t do anything right!”

Do any of these words sound familiar? While most people would never consider speaking to another with such negative, degrading words, we have no problem saying these things to ourselves. The rant of self-abusive language runs rampant for most on any given day.

It is estimated that the average person has approximately 60,000 thoughts per day, 80% of which are negative (and this is a conservative estimate). Imagine 48,000 negative thoughts running through your mind every day of every week, of every month, of every year – year after year! It’s no wonder we feel beaten up, insecure, fearful, and anxious. No one could survive that abuse unscathed.

You’ve heard the expression, “You are what you eat.” Well, just as important, “You are what you think.” Your thoughts influence your outlook on life, your attitude toward yourself, and they have a profound impact on your physical and emotional health.

So, how can you eliminate negative self-talk, especially when you may not even be aware that it’s happening? The following exercise is designed to help you recognize your thoughts and learn to replace the negative with a more positive, self-affirming thought.

Get a notebook or journal and create four columns on each page. Label the top of each column, “Thought”, “Location”, “Activity”, “New Thought”. For one to two weeks, write down your negative thoughts and where you were and what you were doing at the time. Every time a negative thought comes into your head, write it down. Note where you were at the time and what you were doing. Leave column four blank. If you can’t write down all of your negative thoughts, make a commitment to jot down at least five to 10 per day. Do not evaluate during this period.
Reread your journal after the one to two weeks. Determine what underlying themes or messages are behind your negative thoughts. What were some of the triggers? What activities or people triggered negative thoughts?
Evaluate the validity of the thoughts. Ask yourself if there is any truth to what you’re thinking. Are there things you can change? Which thoughts are garbage that must be deleted? Now work on deleting them.
Ask yourself how can you change the negative thought to a positive one. Instead of looking at situations in the worst light, try to find the positive aspects and focus on them. For instance, if you worry about the results of a test and start thinking of the negative consequences, such as failing a class, turn it around. Focus on the fact that whether you pass or not, you did your best and learned important information. Avoid thinking about the worst-case scenarios. They usually never happen. Write down the “new thought” in the fourth column.
Monitor your thoughts. When you are thinking negatively, stop yourself as soon as you realize it and replace the negative thought with your “new thought”. Even though negative thoughts will always come up, the perseverance you develop will keep you going and after time the old thoughts will be replaced with the new ones.

To learn more about this topic and exercise, listen to Joan’s discussion with Michelle at: https://michellephillipsblog.com/2013/09/12/joan-herman-change-your-attitude-change-your-life/

By Joan Hermann
July marked the fourth anniversary of the creation of Change Your Attitude…Change Your Life. When I began the radio show and then the magazine, I never imagined that it would become what it is today, that I would be able to turn personal tragedy, transition, and transformation into something that has the potential to positively impact thousands of lives. When I began, there were naysayers who said I was crazy, that I would fail. For some reason, for the first time in my life, I didn’t listen. I pushed their words aside and have held my ground. The result? I am making my wildest dreams come true and evolving into someone that I never thought I could be.

It hasn’t always been easy. I have had many obstacles to overcome, financial problems to solve, betrayals to survive, and endless business lessons to learn. But in the end, I emerge stronger and more self-confident and I face each day with renewed passion and joy. I receive countless rewards. I always say that a blessed person is someone that can find life work that serves others, adds something positive to the world, and gives your life meaning. I am truly blessed!

I celebrated the fourth anniversary show by interviewing Jim “The Rookie” Morris. You may know Jim’s story from the movie The Rookie, which starred Dennis Quaid (if you haven’t seen this movie I highly recommend that you do – it’s a wonderful story!). Jim was a want-to-be professional baseball player turned high school teacher that coached the boy’s baseball team. One season, in an attempt to motivate the team, he made a bet with his players: if you win the district championship I’ll try out for a major league baseball team. The players won the title and Jim held up his end of the bargain, going to a tryout and throwing 12 consecutive 98 mile per hour pitches. Three months later, 35-year-old Jim Morris was striking out big league hitters in front of his high school players and family. The Rookie was born.

Jim could have reneged on his agreement; there were a million logical reasons why he shouldn’t have attended the tryout starting with the fact that he was 35 years old! But he took a chance, risked looking foolish (in his mind), and reaped tremendous rewards. That day, that tryout, changed the course of Jim’s life.

There were a million logical reasons why I should have given up creating a radio show starting with the fact that I had no experience doing this type of work and I was 46 years old! But I took a chance, risked looking foolish (in my mind), and have reaped tremendous rewards. The past four years have changed my life. I too am a rookie.

What about you? What do you want to do but fear looking foolish (in your mind)? What action can you take that will bring you closer to reaping tremendous rewards? Isn’t it time you took action and became a rookie too?