Dr. Wendy Walsh

The Single Best Relationship Tip Ever

By Dr. Wendy Walsh

207150_1381 When couples are asked to name their biggest relationship problem, hands down, the most reported issue is communication. But there’s one simple trick that most couples’ counselors teach. It has helped save many a marriage and is called emotional mirroring.

The exercise goes like this. Couples sit face to face and hold hands. One partner talks about a relationship issue and the other listens intently and attempts to understand how the other must be feeling. This isn’t a game of who’s right and who’s wrong. Even if the facts don’t seem accurate, the partner who is listening must believe that the feelings associated with the partner’s memory of events are valid and real. After the partner finishes speaking, the listener repeats back in her or her own words what they think the partner is saying. Then they switch sides. The object of the exercise is to teach empathy for a partner’s experience, it is not to argue the facts.

When you try this for the first time, you might be really surprised to find that your partner didn’t hear you well, or translated your words into a totally different meaning! This is a great way to practice love and acceptance. To get you started, here are a few ground rules:

1. Arrange the time for emotional mirroring when there will be no distractions like children, phone or television.

2. Before you begin, hold hands, look into each other’s eyes and tell your partner you love them.

3. Toss a coin to determine who goes first and switch off each time you do the exercise.

4. The partner who shares first must try to not blame the other but instead focus on feelings and reactions to the other’s behavior. No name calling. No angry attacks. Keep voices calm.

Do this at least once a week and watch your relationship blossom into a loving, secure attachment.

You can catch more from Dr. Wendy on her website: Www.DrWendyWalsh.com

How Love Extends Your Life

By Dr. Wendy Walsh

393096_7738 You might think that life expectancy is in your genetic code, but research says you have far more control than you think. In his best selling book, Blue Zones, National Geographic researcher, Dan Buettner, looks at five areas on the planet where an astounding number of people live to be over the age of 100, and then he looks for lifestyle commonalities. While you might think the read is a diet and exercise book, it includes good news about the life extending benefits of healthy relationships. Nearly all the centenarians in Buettner’s work have solid life-long partners and active sex lives.

A study by researchers from Michigan State University and the University of Cincinnati supported the idea that married and cohabiting individuals live longer. The odds of a married individual living longer than a never married individual are 60 percent. The odds of mortality for married people are 40 percent higher than widows, and 30 percent higher than divorced or separated persons. In addition, married individuals have a lower mortality rate than cohabiting individuals.

And, married people experience fewer health problems and are less likely to take part in risky health behaviors like smoking, excessive drinking and unhealthy eating. The National Health Interview Survey showed that in the young age range of 19-44 the leading causes of early death among those who never married were infectious diseases (researchers presume HIV) and external causes. Cardiovascular and other chronic diseases plague middle aged and older unmarried men and women. In contrast, married individuals have greater heart health, and attain shared employer benefits, which means great health, eye and dental care. Marriage is also one of the greatest protectors against poverty, one of the least healthy situations a person in the United States could be in.

Many married couples will complain about how their partners are “slowly killing them” or “giving them more grey hairs”, in some marriages this may be true, but, contrary to popular belief, most spouses are not soul suckers; they are more of a life giving force. Those who marry are more likely to be socially active, rather than withdrawn or introverted. Social interaction is necessary for human beings to build relationships, relieve stress and live happier, healthier lives. The ultimate committed relationship, marriage, just lends an extra helping hand to extend that lifeline into a blissful future.

Read this and other great articles by Dr. Wendy Here

February 28th Radio Show-Raising Beautiful Children

On today’s show we are talking about raising beautiful children.

If you have been a frequent listener to the show you know when I say beauty I’m not talking about making sure your kids are in the latest fashions or have perfect haircuts….I’m talking about raising them to be positive people with a strong and balanced sense of self-esteem. The kind of people that will help us create and foster true beauty in our world.

As a mom, a step-mom, and at one time was a single mom and know that while we may need work to put a roof over our heads or provide food, our most important job in life is parenting our kids.

Join me and my guests, Dr. Wendy Walsh, Jan Horn, and Sandi Schartz. Together we will share some valuable tools parents can use to help balance and reduce stress in their own lives and in turn empower their children to create their own beautiful lives.

Tune in live by logging onto www.hayhouseradio.com on Monday February 28th at 9am Pacific Time/12noon Eastern Standard Time. If you missed the show, you can listen to the show in the archive section.

Some info on my guests:

Dr. Wendy Walsh is a journalist, a psychologist, and a mother. You may have seen her on TV as she is a contributor to CNN, The CBS Early Show, The Today Show, Lifetime, and many more. www.drwendywalsh.com

Jan Horn is the Executive Director/Founder of Blooming Place for Kids. Jan and her staff are deeply committed to improving the lives of neglected and abused children by giving them hope for their own future through programs developed to build leadership skills, self-confidence, good moral character and values.

Blooming Place for Kids’ residential camp promotes positive values and encourages teamwork, sharing and individual growth.

A PLACE TO DREAM . . . to GROW . . . . . and just be a KID!!! www.bloomingplaceforkids.org

Sandi Schwartz is an educator, author, radio show host, and inspirational speaker with over 40 years of experience in the field of child development, Sandi combines the best of traditional wisdom with a depth of spiritual awareness, delivering a powerful message for parents. Her most distinguished honor was from the Governor of New York State for leadership and courage in her work with children and families in the aftermath of 9/11.

Sandi’s Leading Edge programs for parents and educators have received international acclaim. She consults with parents in many countries and her weekly radio show, Leading Edge Parenting, is heard around the world.

For More Information About Leading Edge Parenting or to contact Sandi for consulting, speaking, or to receive her free daily love nuggets, go to www.sanditeaches.com