Lessons

It was an amazing first week for my new radio show The Radiance Factor on VividLife Radio. I can’t thank you all enough for listening, your wonderful feedback, and of course the show’s producer Shayne Travis and my guest Anita Moorjani for sharing their inspirational gifts.

I was very excited about debuting the show with Anita as she exemplifies the message of awakening to our true beauty and sharing it with the world that I hope to make the theme of every show. After battling cancer for 4 years Anita was near the end of her fight; her body was covered in tumors, lungs filled with fluid, in a wheelchair and only able to breathe with the help of an oxygen tank she slipped in to a coma.

At that time Anita was given hours to live by doctors and in the midst of this experience, she was given a level of clarity and peace that told her you will you not die, you will LIVE…you will LOVE yourself…and teach others the power of this amazing gift. She was felt connected to herself and everyone else on a deeper level of pure love that she ever felt imaginable. Anita was reconnected with friends and relatives who had gone on given lessons beyond forgiveness to a level of unconditional acceptance and inspired to return to share these blessings with others.

Upon waking from this coma she healed herself from her Stage 4 cancer and documented her experiences and lessons in her NY Times bestseller “Dying to be me…” which has also been featured on Wayne Dyer’s PBS special “Wishes Fulfilled”, Fox and Friends, CNN, and more.

While we talked about her experiences that surrounded her awakening it was the many takeaways from her life before and after that I want to be sure to share with you:

The first lesson Anita shared was that she felt much was that so much of our sickness self-imposed pressure that we place upon ourselves. The pressure to conform to societies, customs, and the beliefs of others that are not in alignment with ourselves, manifests inside of us to make us physically and mentally ill. On the “other side” love was unconditional, it transcended race, beliefs, gender, and the message to gain was that in order to enjoy this life we should work to move beyond these pressures.
Along with that came the powerful lesson is self-acceptance. Throughout her life she was bullied, discriminated against, and in turn, joined in the fight with others by beating herself up. Like many of us, she was steeped in self-doubt and buried in question that left her thinking; Why am I so harsh on myself? Suppressing my creativity to please others? Seeking approval? Tough on myself? Before you can see the beauty in life or others you have to start by seeing the beauty in you! The beholder right?
Next was her awareness to the power of acceptance which came from a feeling of reconnection to her father with whom she had a difficult relationship and who had died 10 years earlier. This experience provided insights into both our relationships on Earth and to those spirits who have gone on that forgiveness is not enough. To forgive someone still acknowledges the wrong between you, unconditional acceptance however gives power to the connection between people that releases each of you to love freely.

The most meaningful lesson Anita says she learned from being at death’s door is that unless we love ourselves, nothing else in our lives can function at their best. The amount of depth, meaning, and joy we experience in my life is in direct proportion to how much love we have for ourselves. The amount of love, kindness, patience we have for others is also directly proportional to how much love, patience and kindness we have for ourselves, because we cannot give others what we ourselves do not have. And, unsurprisingly, the amount of love, respect, support, and compassion I receive from others is also in direct proportion to how much of the same I have for myself.

Her life is much more joyful and meaningful now, and she says she has much more love to share with others than ever before, which she does unconditionally.. But most important, she now understands that if we do not express our authenticity, the Universe will be deprived of who we came here to be.

Be you, as you were meant to be.

You can listen to the actual radio broadcast with Anita Moorjani here: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/vividliferadio/2013/09/10/anita-moorjani-dying-to-be-me

As women in our 20’s and 30’s, we are often chasing fashion fads—the latest hairstyle, smoky eyes or skinny jeans in an effort to live up to someone else’s idea of beauty. We find out years later how we looked when reminiscing over pictures. “Wow” you say, “I looked like a crazy blend of Madonna and Rachel from Friends!” “What was I thinking?” Worse yet, if we don’t stop going for the trendy looks, we find our kids saying, “Please tell me you’re not wearing that Mom?”

What we don’t know about the futility of these surface fixes is that the beauty we are searching for lies a little deeper. Whether we acknowledge it or not, we may have lost touch with the woman we wanted to be physically, spiritually or emotionally, and it could be affecting every aspect of our beauty. We don’t know what’s missing or how we lost it, but at some point there is an awakening. We spend our 20’s and 30’s in what I call our getting years—getting the job, getting the husband, getting the kids, getting the perfect house—only to wake up later on and say, “I may want everything I have, but do I have everything I want?”

If you want to find real and lasting beauty in your life and look, now is the time in your life to know that you have earned something more. Let’s stop wasting time on make overs, it’s time for a transformation!

I was lucky enough to spend the first 10 years of my career working on my dream of being a makeup artist, doing what I thought was making people beautiful. After working with top celebrities and truly amazing people who don’t live in the spotlight, I learned an invaluable lesson. No matter how good I am as a makeup artist I can only enhance your true beauty. Saying that usually brings up two reactions; “Yeah right” and “Great, but what is true beauty?” Your true beauty is in your passion, compassion, your tears and laughter. It’s also the times when you allow yourself to revel in your deeply beautiful qualities. Every line, every wrinkle, and every gray hair, is a wonderful part of the story of your beauty.

This next step is the most challenging for a lot of us: defining our beautiful qualities. In my experience, women would pop down in my makeup chair time and again with the first words out of their mouths being, “Could you cover this or that up” or “Make me look 10 pounds thinner” or “10 years younger?” Listing what we feel is wrong with us is easy. But when I ask women to list 10 things they feel make them beautiful, they often have a hard time. I’d like you to do that when you finish reading this. But don’t stop at 10. I want you to list 20 or even more of your beautiful qualities. These can be your hips, lips, smile, sense of humor, listening skills, intelligence, or anything else that makes you a stunning one-of-a-kind woman.

From there, I want you to post your list where you can see it, maybe even break it down into smaller lists. Put them on post-it notes on your make up mirror or the visor of your car. Just be sure to put these reminders of your beauty in places that constantly reinforce the definition of who you are.

Busy women fall out of touch with who they are and forget what they have to offer. Sometimes they need a reminder of the divine gifts they are to the world. They need permission to celebrate themselves and know that it’s okay to bloom, soak in the sun and express the wild colors they were created to be.

Let your list be your reminder and before you spend any time at the end of this year or the beginning of the next thinking about what you don’t have, remember the beauty you DO have!