Thanksgiving Dinner – The Sitcom Sit-down

The holidays are almost here and in theory they should be a time of great joy as we spend precious moments with the people we cherish. Unfortunately for a lot of us that time falls squarely between a sitcom and full-blown horror flick. If they were still making Peanuts cartoons but with a more modern feel, for many of us it would probably be something like, “It’s a dysfunctional family dinner Charlie Brown.”

Whether you are hosting the family dinner or just attending somewhere else, for some reason what should be a safe haven of love and support gets turned into a place you have to emotionally toughen up before walking in the door. If it’s not the delicious aromas of turkey and pie that makes you take a deep breath before ringing the doorbell, what is it?

For starters, you have relatives or friends that can’t be invited at the same time as others, you’ve got an uncle who it’s in everybody’s best interest if you water down his drinks, and there’s always at least one person you know is going to pick apart your life like a buzzard working on a piece of emotional roadkill. The latter can be particularly disturbing when most of us are not facing the easiest of times. All of this leaves Thanksgiving with the potential for the turkey to be stuffed with massive drama!

Before you give it all up and resign yourself to the kiddy table, let’s look at some ways to make the most of these times with family and friends.

First, let’s remember that it is just that, time with the people that mean the most to us. These are people that we know will be there for us through thick and thin. As for Uncle Larry, continue to sneak in the watered down drinks, and if family members are feuding, remember-it’s not your problem. Like I tell my kids, don’t get involved in the drama, and move away from any negative situation.

As for our own worry about being shamed for some of our unfortunate situations, let’s start by not making this a day of playing make believe. It’s time for a little honesty. I’m not saying decorate your house with your dirty laundry but if you’re going through hard times of any sort be honest about them. We stress ourselves out so much with the energy it takes to be “perfect” for the people who should understand us most. To get through any crisis in life we need support. As much as family can tend to judge us and be critical they are there for us. Which brings me to my next suggestion…
Don’t’ be afraid of your family, they really do want to see you succeed. If you are really anxious about the inquiries that will be made by some people who are really labeled as “judgmental” in your tribe, pick up the phone before the big day arrives and let them know what you are going through. While you’re at it, tell them that you are hoping to gain their support and understanding. Many times the people closest to us think they are taking care of us by “fixing” our problems. Let them know if you are just looking to vent, a shoulder to lean on, or maybe not fixing but some positive ideas to guide you through the situation. Hopefully this will lead them to support you in a positive direction and help them keep their negative comments to themselves.

If we can set boundaries and remember what and who are really important in our lives we can get beyond the drama to the love and laughter that should fill our lives more than that extra scoop of mashed potatoes ever could. That said, remember to take time to go around the table to give everyone a chance to talk about what they are truly thankful for.

Fall Skin Care Tips

The changing weather can wreak havoc on your skin. During this time it is important that you take the steps to make sure your skin is protected from the cold weather to prevent premature aging. Below you will find a few tips to help you through the transition from hot to cold. To do this…your first step is to exfoliate

Tip 1: Exfoliate, Exfoliate!

Too much sun exposure from, the summer sun, can often lead to dry, flaking skin – even if you have been diligent with UV protection. Regular treatment with exfoliating face and body washes, scrubs and lotions can work miracles to improve the tone and texture of your skin.

Moisturizing helps to deliver hydrating ingredients and keep your skin’s barrier system intact. Look for products with a slightly thicker moisturizer than what you were using in the summer, even if your skin is naturally oily. If that’s the case, just find non oily products that are a little more substantial. Consider a range of effective products containing retinol, alpha hydroxyl and antioxidants ingredients to help improve hydration and the texture of your skin.

Tip 2: Don’t Forget The Sunscreen

Pay attention to sun care. Protecting your skin from the sun isn’t just for the summer. Just because the weather is colder doesn’t mean that you can’t get sun damage. If the SPF products you were using in the summer were too harsh for the colder climate, switch products. But definitely don’t skip this step.

Tip 3: Show Hands Respect

Try as you might, it’s difficult to keep hands out of water and the elements. Even if you’re diligent about using gloves, frequent hand washing and life in general, can cause hands to dry and crack. If you’re like me and can never remember to wear gloves then it’s a good idea to strategically place hand cream around. I always keep a tube in my purse, in the car, at the sink and on my bedside table. You really can never have enough!

Tip 4: Dull Hair

Hair exposed to the sun and water can appear dry and lack lustre. Go easy on the heating elements such as flat irons and other treatments that can damage hair further. Consider switching to a gentle line of shampoos, minus harsh cleansing ingredients like sodium lauryl sulfate which strip away oils and can irritate sensitive skin

PERIMENOPAUSE! YAY!

I want to share with you my favorite new book!

The Secret Pleasures of Menopause by Dr. Christiane Northrup.

I have suffered from major PMS symptoms for years. It got worse after having my third baby. To help my symptoms subside, doctors suggested birth control (which I don’t need cause one of us is “fixed”) and for my mood swings…which I swear I never have LOL…wink wink, Prozac was suggested for a quick fix!

I have no desire to be on hormones or anti depressants so I decided to just deal with my monthly “icks”! Now that I am in my 40’s, I have to say, it has been getting a bit more difficult because I am in the perimenopause stage and other crazy things are starting to occur.

Last Spring I had the pleasure of meeting Dr. Northrup’s AMAZING daughter Kate at a Hay House workshop in Boston. I was invited to join she and her friends for lunch during the break. It was interesting, out of all the people attending this workshop, that I would meet Kate. My best friend, Lori, had been begging me to read Dr. Northrup’s books for years, and I never had. It was if there were angels above saying “you ask for help and you shall receive”. Here she is! After explaining, to Kate, my crazy struggle with trying to find a doctor who could help me deal with my symptoms naturally, she suggested that I read her mom’s book.

It has taken me quite a while to read her book…because I have very little downtime to read …however it is SO WORTH IT! I have a whole new outlook on what I am going through! The great thing is – it is NOT A NEGATIVE ONE!

After reading her book, I am embracing the change, feeling blessed to be at this point in my life, and realizing that a lot of the “ickiness” can be alleviated naturally. Already I am feeling better. You have to read it for yourself to understand. Menopause may entail some uncomfortable physical feelings that come and go…yet it is so worth it when you realize what this time of our lives is really all about!

The Secret Pleasures of Menopause is a groundbreaking book that is long overdue! Christiane Northrup, M.D., delivers a breakthrough message that will help millions and millions of perimenopausal and menopausal women just like you understand that at menopause . . . life has just begun! It is the beginning of a very exciting and fulfilling time, full of pleasure beyond your wildest dreams!

By Rob Fowler

One leg at a time

One of the questions that anyone who works with celebrities hears is, “What’s he or she really like?” As a celebrity make up artist one of the most frequent requests for dirt I got was, “What do they look like without their make up?” I can tell you for the most part everyone I worked with was nice, or at the very least, they were all professionals. On the fact or fiction behind America’s fab faces, they were all beautiful. The reality behind my experiences with celebs was that we were there because we had a job to do.

Whether they were there to make a TV or live appearance or we were on the set of a photo shoot, I gave them room to study their lines or get emotionally settled before going on. They in turn let me do my job, putting on their faces and getting them camera ready. Sorry gang, no tell all here, quite the contrary…

Inevitably, once the vast number of celebs got comfy in my make up chair, they did want to chat but not about a tawdry behind-the-scenes affair with their co-star or how the caviar was at Cannes this year. Nope, most stars wanted to talk about their kids. They wanted to talk about whatever they were involved in outside of work that they were truly passionate about. More than anything though they talked about how hard it was to keep it all together every day while they juggled kids, work, fashion, and passion. The more we talked the more I realized they are just like you and I. For some reason, whether it’s warranted or not, we hold celebrities to a higher standard. We put them up on a pedestal that is both making life more difficult on them to maintain, and on us to attain. The reality is, whether they do it themselves, or their personal assistant does it for them, celebrities put their pants on just like you and I, ‘one leg at a time’!

6 months to live – try 4 years and counting!

One of the greatest inspirations you could ever have to be a better person and give back is my friend Lori Zudell. She has been one of the guiding lights in my life and I hope her story will be for you as well. Upon coming up with the idea for the show, “Courage and Grace”, I could think of no one better to highlight than her!

Diagnosed with colon cancer and given 6 months to live, today she not only is she alive… she THRIVES!. And that was 4 years ago. Since the taping of this interview she has gone on to do amazing things in the area of Healing Arts. Check out her website http://www.helpingyouthrive.com . This is one of my stories from the Courage & Grace Series. If you have a story of Courage & Grace to share. Please make a post or contact me.