Self Esteem

Celebrity Makeup Artist Shares Important Beauty Tip via a Video She Made in Her Car

One year ago this week, I began taking Barre3 classes 2-3x per week. It has been a life changing experience for me. Not only am I enjoying these classes as they combine pilates, yoga, ballet and cardio, I am getting into great shape and have never felt better physically and mentally. The classes end with a […]

One year ago this week, I began taking Barre3 classes 2-3x per week. It has been a life changing experience for me. Not only am I enjoying these classes as they combine pilates, yoga, ballet and cardio, I am getting into great shape and have never felt better Continue reading “Celebrity Makeup Artist Shares Important Beauty Tip via a Video She Made in Her Car”

Comfortable In Our Own Skin

Women have begun not only talking about body image issues, but writing body image articles and body images blogs. We’re celebrating the women who are taking back body image with their own words. We’ve gathered our favorite body image reads. You won’t want to miss a single one of these. Photo credit: Sam Edwards/ Caiaimage/ Getty Images — Women have begun not only talking about body image issues, but writing body image articles and body images blogs. We’re celebrating the women who are taking back body image with their own words. We’ve gathered our favorite body image reads. You won’t want to miss a single one of these.
Photo credit: Sam Edwards/ Caiaimage/ Getty Images

Women hate their bodies. Does this phrase anger you? Maybe. Surprise you? Probably not. While this isn’t true of all women, most that you meet have a body part they wouldn’t mind changing, hiding, ignoring. These body image issues are prevalent and affect women’s happiness and the way they see their lives. We want to change that and the best path we know to change is open dialogue. We’ve found amazing reading about body image written by real women for the sole purpose of opening the conversation and taking us to the point where the phrase “women hate their bodies” is shocking.

Don’t ever look back in regret, truly live your beauty and focus on what’s right with you rather than what’s wrong.

Michelle Phillips is a self-esteem coach and the author of the bestselling beauty and self-esteem book The Beauty Blueprint — 8 Steps to Building the Life and Look of your Dreams. Phillips works with many women and an inordinate — but not surprising — number of her sessions end up focused on body image. She’s recently made a shift in her thinking, however, that’s made all the difference for her and for her clients. Phillips explains, “When working with a coaching client I had an epiphany: The negative thoughts I have about my body need to come to a screeching halt.” Phillips adds, “Don’t ever look back in regret, truly live your beauty and focus on what’s right with you rather than what’s wrong. It may not seem easy at first but freeing yourself of negative thoughts is a huge step towards living a truly beautiful life and achieving a healthy body. The first, and possibly the most crucial step on that path, though, is to start loving the body you have right now.”

We agree with Phillips and want to open this conversation with you. Six women writers are doing just that by penning — or typing — their thoughts on body image. Join in these conversations, it’ll be our collective first steps toward women love their bodies becoming our norm.

Money can come and go, but emotional bankruptcy is a killer.

Just a short time ago, I was driving my daughter’s friend, Jordan, home after a fun day at the beach. I noticed that as we were getting closer to the young girl’s home she was becoming quite upset. I asked her if she was okay and she replied “my mom, sister and I had to move this week because we were evicted from our home”. Jordan went on to share that her mom’s second husband was abusive, had left them and she was trying her best on a small salary. My heart sank as I immediately felt her mother’s pain of trying to make it as a single mom with young children. As we approached her new home I realized we were in the worst part of town.

Jordan went into her house and quickly came back out running to my car-crying hysterically. She begged to stay with us for the night. She said she didn’t want to go into that awful place. It was the “slums” in her eyes and she was upset at her mother for moving her there. Jordan’s mom quickly followed, tears in her eyes holding her six month old baby, and assured me it was okay and best to take her daughter for the night.

My heart broke for her as we drove away. What she didn’t know is that our stories are the same. Yes, stories.

Many years ago, I left an abusive marriage and ended up on food stamps to support my kids. The lack of money was not as much what took me down, it was more about pulling myself up from the damage that was done from the words and threats that I endured on top of feeling as if I was a failure. Little by little, I was able to pick my self up and do the work to build a solid foundation of self-love.

When we are emotionally bankrupt it can be a danger zone. Not taking the time to fully heal and regain our sense self-worth can often times put us right back in a relationship with someone else who doesn’t value us. When we are hurt and feel down about ourselves, quite often the first person that comes along and tells us we are beautiful and fabulous wins our heart. We begin to find our sense of worth in someone else’s arms only to find ourselves back in the same cycle over and over again.

I got my daughter and Jordan back to my house and settled for bed so that I could make a very important call. I picked up the phone and reached out to the troubled and heartbroken mom. I wanted her to know that I’d been there too and she didn’t do anything wrong. She’s not broken… she’s beautiful, loveable, and capable. I wanted her to know she’s not alone… If she needed anything, I am here. My home is her home. We cried together and talked about how life throws us curve balls and when we pick ourselves up and remember who we are, shower ourselves with love, and surround ourselves with love (ask for help), we can and will survive and thrive in the end.

I dedicate this to all women who have felt or do feel broken. You are not. You are beautiful, you are strong, you are capable of anything. I am here to remind you that you are not alone and you are love…pure love inside. Don’t let someone else break your spirit. Break free and let your spirit soar. Fly beautiful girl, fly!

Love,
Michelle

Dream A Beautiful Future

https://www.flickr.com/photos/nicopierce/5492971031/

The dream is the small hidden door in the deepest and most intimate sanctum of the soul.” — CARL JUNG
While flying cross-country recently for an appearance on a morning talk show, I was seated next to a young man in his mid-20s. Clean-cut and friendly, he didn’t seem to be in need of any type of life advice or coaching whatsoever.
As we settled into the flight and exchanged pleasantries, it became clear that he wanted to talk more. As we struck up a conversation, he told me that he was an architect by day and a bartender at night. He came from a prominent family and was well educated. I noticed that he was writing or doodling while he spoke, and when I asked him about it, he remarked that he often drew when he told stories. In fact, he shared that when he’s bartending, he sketches on napkins and leaves them in front of each customer so that he’d know where he left off in his conversation with each person. I casually mentioned that he was obviously a creative person.
He replied, “Yes, but being an architect doesn’t pay very well—that’s why I’m also bartending. I’m hoping to make enough money so that I can have the option to try something else.”
“What is it you want to do?”
“I have no idea.”
I rephrased the question. “If you could wave a magic wand and create your perfect life, what would you be doing?”
“I’d build boats!” he answered immediately.
We talked about his passion for boats and his dream of designing and building them one day. As we parted, I urged him to go for it, and I really hope he does. Within that dream lies the true beauty in his life; and his chance to leave behind a wonderful, rich legacy.
I found it interesting that outwardly, he seemed like someone who had it all together. It was only when he spoke honestly about what he truly wanted that he came to realize he wasn’t following his heart. I think he left our conversation acknowledging that no matter how great he is at architecture or bartending, he’ll never feel totally fulfilled until he builds that first boat.

Excerpt: The Beauty Blueprint by Michelle Phillip
To Purchase: http://www.amazon.com/The-Beauty-Blueprint-Building-Dreams/dp/1401931731

Check Out: MichellePhillipsTV Channel… YAY!

If You Have Nothing Nice to Say…

By Joan Herrmann

If you have nothing nice to say don’t say anything at all. Ah… a mother’s wisdom. I’m sure most of us have been told this many, many times. But, how many of us actually follow this sage advice?

Words are a powerful force and the powerful effects of negative words cannot be underestimated. Words are remembered long after they are spoken. They have the power to destroy one’s self-esteem and self-confidence, making someone feel less than adequate and fearful. Words leave invisible bruises that can last a lifetime.

Most of us understand that negative words hurt, and yet, how many of us actually stop and think BEFORE making a negative or disparaging comment? Do we ever think about the impact our message has on the recipient or is it so important for our opinion to be heard that the consequences are insignificant to us?

And it is not only personal comments from others that can be damaging. Being in the company of people who frequently complain or see the bad in everything can be just as emotionally detrimental. Such people project a negative energy that soon infiltrates everything and everyone around them.

Case in point. My 18-year-old son recently completed a certification course at our local fire academy and is currently working toward becoming a fireman. This is his dream and he is taking the appropriate steps to that end. He is attending college to earn a degree. He has been a volunteer for two years. He strives to learn everything about his chosen profession. After he completed the certification test, I posted on my personal Facebook page about his status. Someone immediately commented that her son took the test a few years back and is number 5,000 waiting for a job. She went on to say that it is impossible to get a job and anyone who goes into the profession is crazy.

I’m not sure why she made that post. Perhaps she was trying to relay information. Maybe she is upset about the fact that her son has not been hired. Maybe she was having a bad day. I don’t know her motive, but I do know that a comment like that has the power to cast doubt in a young man’s mind, cause him to question his direction, and possibly even shatter his dream. Once a thought like that gets planted in someone’s thoughts, it’s more difficult to stay on course. How often does this happen to you? How often are you the one making this type of comment or how often are you the recipient?

A new year is approaching and this is a time when many self reflect and try to enact positive change. I encourage you to become more cognizant of what you say. Stop and think BEFORE the words come out. You have the power to impact another positively or negatively. You have the power to be a mentor or cheerleader of a dream, or the destroyer. Remember that mother always knows best and if you have nothing nice to say, pray one of my favorite prayers: “Lord, put your arm on my shoulder and your hand over my mouth.”

I wish you all a blessed holiday season.

What I Gave Up Because I Felt Fat

By Melissa Kathryn

scale Have you ever stayed in because you felt fat? Missed a party, didn’t go on a date? Even worse, declined going on a trip or vacation because you didn’t like your body and the thought of being in a bathing suit put your mind into a complete frenzy?

I recall several instances in my life where I did not go on trips, made up excuses to not go out and didn’t attend parties, date or events because I “felt” fat. I look back now and I get frustrated at the experiences I could have had. Instead I chose not to go, which is essentially choosing isolation. What happened next? I would feel even worse for not going, which would lead to emotional eating, then self loathing…and the cycle continues.

Does this resonate with you? Can you recall a time when you chose, willingly to miss out on life because of your weight?

By staying in isolation, by choosing to say “No” to life, you are missing out on life, living and experience joy. It is through isolation that we continue to deprive ourselves of happiness.

Here are simple steps that you can do to ensure you stop missing out on life and start living it!

It begins with Self-Acceptance – start to learn to love yourself and your body exactly as it is. Weight is weight, you are you are your core – you have to begin by loving her (your body) and accepting her no matter her size, shape or the way she looks.
You body is your temple – care for it. It provides you with everything you ask it to do. Be kind and loving, nourish your body with movement and food.
Say “YES” to life – be you and the rest will come.
Recognize that “You” are judging yourself, whatever thoughts you have, they are not the thoughts of anyone else. Work to get out of your head and into your heart for yourself.

Once you do this, the fulfillment you will find from the pleasure of being around others and the experiences you will have, food and your weight will become an after-thought.

The Best Foundation for Your Beauty

By Michelle Phillips

One of the most common beauty questions women find themselves asking is, “What is the best foundation?” This seemingly shallow but daunting question is the subject of countless articles, TV segments, and conversations, in which we are totally engrossed. And as much as generations may have searched the world over for a miraculous product to give them the “perfect” look, let the search be over. The perfect foundation for your true beauty doesn’t get applied to you on the outside, it lies within you and radiates out!

So at this point you may have a new question, rather than “What is the best foundation”, you may be wondering “How do I develop mine?” The start of that answer is remarkably similar to how we select the best makeup. Have ever looked in the mirror while trying a new shade of lipstick or eye shadow and it made you smile? By looking in that same mirror for the natural beauty that is you, and simply smiling, you are creating a layer of foundation. You are putting on a foundation of self-love that could never be found at a makeup counter.

Look again. Do you see the beautiful color of your eyes? The depth of your soul behind them? Take a moment to make a mental note of all the beauty that you see in just those eyes. Now go a step farther by actually writing it down. Are there wrinkles around your eyes from years of smiling, sun, laughter, and tears? Continue through the features you love on your face and move on to your body. If you are having trouble finding the glory of you, remember how each of these amazing parts serve you on your journey.

When you are done collecting all of your beautiful external qualities the real foundation building can begin. Take a minute to think of twenty of your most gorgeous internal qualities. It can be your sense of humor, generosity, curiosity, adventure, caring, intelligence, or anything else you think makes you unique. This is a very important exercise because even more than your facial features or fingerprints, it is this combination of personal attributes that makes you a one-of-a-kind work of art. You are a stunning original that has never been done before and never will again in this exact form.

As you discover and build your “foundation” you will find that you radiate a new, deeper beauty that can’t compare to the mere external. You will begin to experience some of the very important differences between a cosmetic foundation and a deeper spiritual one.

First, is the strength of the foundation itself. While the makeup layer may be microscopically thin, the spiritual foundation spreads far and wide across every aspect of your life. In addition, at the end of any day, you can wipe away your makeup and the thin veneer of so-called beauty is gone. Meanwhile, your beautiful internal qualities continue shine bright.

Also, makeup styles may change with the times, your age, complexion, and for any occasion, but the enduring power of your passion and compassion, courage and character, never go out of style.

Once you have taken the time for this self-discovery you can start to build a life of authenticity on this foundation. It is with this strength of knowing who you truly are that will afford you a life based on what you think and feel, according to your values and purpose. This is a life of true beauty that can beyond any trend and that only gets better with age.

Michelle Phillips is a celebrity makeup artist and Life Coach, speaker, and author of the bestselling beauty and self-esteem book from Hay House, “The Beauty Blueprint: 8 Steps to Building the Life and Look of Your Dreams”. http://www.michellephillips.com

Whose voice is running in your head?

We all have them; those voices in our head that cause fear and doubt and undermine our lives. Often, they are the voices of people who we trusted and felt safe around but betrayed that security, and in the process, created a life-long internal battle for our self-esteem. It could be the voice of a parent, love interest, or even a teacher or boss whose opinion you valued, and now their words hang over your heart. “Don’t eat that or you’ll get fat.” “Don’t bother trying that you’re not capable.”

I know those voices all too well. Several years ago, after going through a difficult divorce, I lost my job of 12 years, and found myself raising three small children with no money. For months I paid my bills with credit cards and when those ran out, I applied for welfare. As I struggled through a downward spiral, voices from my past played like a broken record telling me that I wasn’t good enough, smart enough, or pretty enough. That was until my best friend Lori called and told me she had stage four colon cancer.

I realized at that moment life was too short to listen to any voice other than mine. I decided that whatever was playing in my head, and no matter who said it, it was time to erase the tape and live my beauty! When I did, my life changed dramatically.

So how do you erase and reprogram your positive inner dialogue…

Identify the negative and re-program the dialogue.

Write down all the negative inner dialogue that runs through your mind. For each bit, answer this question: What was the true intent behind the statement, meaning, who made it and why? Here’s a story to help you get the gist of what I want you to do. . . .

I was working with a client shortly after her husband left her. After weeks of self-esteem coaching, she wanted to go shopping to create a new look that matched her new life. As a celebrity stylist and life coach it’s always fun to help women bring their inner beauty to life through a look that matches who they are. After trying on several flattering outfits, however, she looked dejected and stared at the dressing-room floor.

“I have to tell you something,” she said. I braced myself because, by now, I’ve learned that clients who are making bold changes also confront even bigger fears. “I think my stomach looks terrible in all these clothes.”

“What?” I gasped. “You look incredible! You have a great body. Where is this coming from? What is the voice in your head saying exactly?”

“It’s my ex’s voice,” she confessed. “He told me that I was getting fat, and he didn’t want to have sex with me anymore.”

“What was his genuine intention behind that statement?” I asked.

“To hurt me, I guess.”

“So, it wasn’t true, right? He only said it to upset you. Do you see the difference?”

She nodded, and relief washed over her face. The inner voice that had damaged her so deeply wasn’t true, and now she saw it for what is was; a lie.

She stood up straighter and smiled, and I knew she was on her way to becoming a free woman.

Now it’s your turn to do this exercise so that you can finally be free of any shaming voices that hold you back. And even if the original intention was positive—as a way to protect you, for instance—the result may still be the same. This exercise enables you to observe this dialogue for what it truly is and no longer allow it to control you.