Self Help

Healthy Boundaries Create Healthy Relationships

By Crystal Andrus.

Crystal-Simply-woman-cropped-300x336 After writing an article on “rejection”, I received a few private messages from women asking if I would write more about “boundaries.”

In that blog, I explained that boundary setting is hands-down the most important lesson we women need to learn:

“Healthy boundaries are like having a front door with a lock on it.
You have the right to keep out unpleasant visitors.”

Boundary setting was certainly my most important lesson to learn in order to become empowered, because without healthy boundaries I created unhealthy, dysfunctional relationships . . . and I didn’t even realize I was doing it!

As someone who has tended to over-give, over-do, over-protect, even over-try, I have to remind myself when I begin taking on more than I feel comfortable with — whether it be helping a friend, counseling a family member through a rough time, or offering to “pick up the slack” for someone who has “bitten off more than they can chew” – to back up, slow down, and really ask myself:

“Do I want to be doing this?”

“Is this improving my life or exhausting me?”

“Has this started to become a co-dependent relationship with me as the ‘mother / caretaker’ and them as my ‘child / responsibility’?”

By being aware of how I feel (i.e. drained, frustrated, even resentful), I’ve learned how to catch myself from stepping into chaos, drama, and dysfunction much sooner than I used to.

As a coach (and this goes for most therapists, healers, nurses, counselors, etc.), we have a natural tendency to want to “fix things”, but without learning healthy boundary setting, we can too easily take on the weight of the world and inevitably, hurt the very person we wanted to help because we are giving more than we can afford to lose and eventually, we burnout, become angry, or breakdown. We’re no good to anyone.

Not to mention, I can almost see my weight rising when I’m forgetting to set a boundary. Doesn’t matter how many jogs I take, broccoli I eat, or protein shakes I drink, the weight predictably comes on. I literally carry the weight of my unhealthy boundaries on my body.

Many of us didn’t witness healthy boundaries growing up, whether it was our mother who allowed others to disrespect, use, or abuse her, including us — her child (his is called “porous boundaries”); or our father who was so strict he was like a brick wall (“rigid boundaries”). Either way, we didn’t learn what “healthy” looks like.

On the other hand, we could have had wonderful parents and yet someone else in our life—a teacher, grandparent, uncle, family friend, cousin, brother, whoever—stepped across our personal boundary field and physically, verbally, emotionally, or sexually abused us.

When abuse happens, we lose the ability to realize we have the power to say “no”. This feeling of being unable to protect ourselves can follow us throughout our lives and before we know it, we find ourselves in situations, both big and small, that confront us with our lack of confidence, personal power, and low self-worth.

In fact, I was just speaking to a beautiful, smart, talented woman who told me she was experiencing so much anxiety because her boss had been getting too close physically and would say inappropriate sexual things to her. She wasn’t doing anything flirtatious to provoke him, and couldn’t understand why he was acting this way.

I asked her why she didn’t tell him to back off and her response was that she “didn’t want to hurt his feelings or make things worse by putting her foot down”.

In other words, she was a “people pleaser”.

She hated how she felt around him but didn’t know how to establish a healthy boundary.

As we looked back at her life, she saw a strong pattern of many men being inappropriate with her and her feeling powerless (even as a teenage girl with boys). It was almost as though she believed, “It’s a man’s world and that’s just the way it is. I have no choice.”

Rather than staying focused on the problem, I asked her what she wanted to feel instead.

What are your intentions? I asked her. “What do you want? What would courage have you do?”

* * *

The first step in setting healthy boundaries is for us to be able to identify our own needs, wants, opinions, and rights:

– “Does this feel good to me or does this feel like I’m being manipulated for someone’s gain?”

Once we know how we feel about a situation, we must respect ourselves, and our needs. We teach people how to treat us by the way we treat ourselves—by what we’re willing to accept.

We must all learn to clearly identify what it is we want in our relationships (how we want to feel about ourselves), and then become skilled at assertively expressing ourselves: “When you _______ (fill in the unhealthy behavior), it makes me feel _________. If you can’t be more respectful to me, I will have to _________ (list the consequences and stick to them).”

This process allows our “Woman Energy” to emerge.

Here are some more tips for setting healthy boundaries, modified from the book, Boundaries: Where You End and I Begin, by Anne Katherine:

– When you feel angry or resentful, you probably need to set a boundary. Listen to yourself then communicate your boundary assertively.

– When you identify the need to set a boundary, be clear, preferably without anger, and in as few words as possible. And most importantly, be confident about your needs and feelings surrounding this situation.

– Do not justify, apologize for, or rationalize the boundary you are setting. Do not argue! Just set the boundary calmly, firmly, clearly, and respectfully.

– You can’t set a boundary and take care of someone’s feelings at the same time. You are not responsible for the other person’s reaction to the boundary you are setting.

– At first, you will probably feel selfish, guilty, or embarrassed when you set a boundary but you can’t establish a clear boundary successfully if you send a mixed message by apologizing afterward.

– When you set boundaries, you might be tested (especially by those accustomed to controlling you, abusing you, or manipulating you). Stay strong.

– Eliminate toxic people from your life. It may feel mean or unkind but your health depends on the quality of the relationships you have. Bad attention is not better than no attention at all. Don’t play with bullies — even if they’re family members. Showing them that you won’t allow them in your life if they want to create problems for you, will help them too become better people.

Learning to set healthy boundaries takes time. It is a process. After awhile, it will be second nature. In fact, people will “feel” your confident assertiveness, and soon you will rarely be “tested”. It’s just an energy you give off: Woman Energy! BAM!

I’d love to know how you feel about today’s blog. Please leave me a comment and I’ll get back to you!

Warmly,

Crystal

Louise Hay is true beauty!

LIKE MOST PEOPLE, I first came in contact with the work and spirit of Louise Hay at a difficult time in my life. Although I was living my professional dream of being a celebrity makeup artist and stylist, there was a nagging emptiness in my personal life that I hadn’t put my finger on. That was until the day I was drawn into a bookstore with a little extra time on my hands.

I had no idea what led me to that store any more than the divine hand that guided me to a copy of You Can Heal Your Life. I had never heard of Louise Hay, or any other Hay House authors, yet as I flipped through the pages her words touched me like no other book ever had. From the moment I opened the cover I couldn’t put it down. It felt as though she was speaking directly to me, touching me in a way that didn’t just encourage and strengthen my mind, it validated and invigorated my soul. I felt as though everything I believed spiritually, but had previously questioned, was ringing true through the power of her words. These were beliefs that I had discounted up until that very moment because they were so different from those everyone around me held. Wrapped in Louise’s words I had found freedom, security, and a spiritual home.

Along with discovering the strength of my authentic self came the realization that I did not truly love who I was. On top of that, I was in a marriage with someone who did not love or honor who I was and definitely not who I was becoming as I grew.

I continued on the path of self-discovery, though, by reading more Hay House books and attending workshops. After eventually leaving my unhappy marriage, and still in the depths of the soul search, I would have another more personal and divine encounter with Louise. When a mutual friend invited me to the I Can Do It Event in Tampa to meet Louise, I jumped at the opportunity.

Even a brief “audience” with Louise was life changing, and while my career was taking off in the ways I had always dreamed it would, Louise’s spirit and words were guiding me in a new direction. I knew what I was truly intended to do, along with focusing on external beauty as a makeup artist, my calling was to be a teacher and help people bring true beauty to their lives. I was to help others feel this beauty by learning to love themselves the way I had from Louise. I created a vision board with the picture of Louise and me in the very center and the journey began.

Two years from then I would take my seat at the Speak, Write and Promote Event in Boston, moments later to be joined by Louise herself. From the first time I picked up her book to the times spent with her today, and now as a Hay House author. I cherish beyond words the guidance her spirit has been to mine. To be a part of the Hay House family and for my message to have the endorsement of trust that comes with her name brings tears of joy and gratitude I could never truly express.

Be More by Doing Less: Removing the Distraction of Busyness

By Ashley Ryan
“It’s not enough to be busy. So are the ants. The question is: What are we busy about?” — Henry David Thoreau

Growing up I didn’t think much of myself. I grew up poor, and spent much of my childhood alone. My father wasn’t around and my mother worked full-time, so I had to look out for myself from a very young age. This created emotional baggage, which I carried for many years.

Even though things started rocky, I was committed to myself and consciousness at an early age. I always felt like I knew there was something greater out there, but I wasn’t sure what.

Over the years I went to therapy, did courses and programs, and practiced being a better person. But the niggling issues from my childhood stayed with me like a shadow.

One way I coped with my baggage was by being very “busy.” Doing a million things. Distracting myself with a to-do list or activities that gave me a temporary boost, a few moments of joy, only to dissipate at night when I slowed down, lying in my bed wondering “Is this all there is?”

I was a master of disguise, and a master of distraction. And even though I was on a journey of self-awareness I often felt like a little girl again, alone and scared.

My real journey of healing began when a good friend suggested that I slow down. He pointed out that I was using distractions to run away from the loneliness that I was experiencing.

This resonated with me, and I decided to take on his advice.

I stopped activities, stopped traveling, stopped moving, stopped the texts and phone calls (I actually got rid of my phone), and committed to being with myself.

I didn’t know what this was going to take, or even look like, but I knew something had to change.

My real awakening began when I removed all distractions and sat with myself a little bit each day.

During this time of discovery I lived in India, which showed me that in our culture we rush and do all day long, we don’t often take a breather, or a rest.

And I think we do this — I think I did this — because I was running from myself. There were things I didn’t want to look at, issues that kept coming up over and over again, uncomfortable things that were safer to ignore.

Taking time to know myself was the most powerful process I’ve experienced, and being alone was the most authentic thing I’ve done.

My true inner journey began with the un-doing.

What I’m writing to you isn’t complex, it isn’t a whole bunch of stuff, but I think it’s enough.

A Simple Process for Un-Doing:

Spend some time journaling each day, starting by reflecting on the “distractions” in your life.

What activities or habits do you have/do to avoid being with yourself? Do you work way too much, or always help a friend or family member, which leaves you overwhelmed and busy? Do you eat and watch movies to distract yourself? Whatever it is, write it down.

Once you’ve written down your distractions, look deeper into the underlying belief behind these habits.

For example, you find that when you’re upset you eat sweets. Why do you eat sweets? To feel more full. Why do you want to feel fuller? Because I’m afraid of being alone. Why are you afraid of being alone? Because when I’m alone, I’m sad. Why are you sad? And so on… Weed out some of the underlying thoughts or beliefs behind your habits.

Notice.

You don’t have to fix, change, or improve anything. Just notice yourself when you’re engaging in these activities. Do this for one to two weeks. Bring awareness to these areas and journal about them.

After one to two weeks of noticing, if you feel inspired to do less or take action, such as stopping snacking or working fewer hours, go ahead, but it’s not required.

Add to your schedule some alone time each day doing nothing.

Sit on your couch, rest in your bed (without falling asleep), and be in nature. Add 10-30 minutes of alone time each day. If strong emotions come up, be with them; give yourself permission to feel.

The more time I spent by myself, the more I got to know who I was and what I was about. And when I learned about myself, I found I no longer needed to distract myself from the parts of myself that I didn’t like.

A Recipe for Being Your Best Ever You

This recipe has been passed from generation to generation and is one of our world favorites. You may not need all of the ingredients to make this recipe, so mix up some of the items on a daily basis and follow the instructions below.

Items Needed:
You
20 Cups of Laughter
15 Cups of Grace
10 Cups of Peace
10 Cups of Love
7 Cups of Elegance
5 Cups of Courage
3 Cups of Patience
1 1/2 Cups of Determination
1 1/2 Cups of Acceptance
1 Cup of Humility
1 Cup of Confidence
1 tsp. of wisdom
1 pinch of reality

Allergy Alert: This product was not manufactured in a facility with any fear, jealousy or doubt.

Step 1. Stop thinking everyone else has it better
You know it when you think it: “They drive a cleaner car, have more cash in the bank, have a bigger shoe collection, a better job, a book deal, a better body, a new baby,” or whatever else you may appear to see or think you see or assume is true of someone else’s life. Everyone’s life around the world appears to be perfect with the exception of yours. There are days when you might catch yourself glancing at the marks on your walls thinking the house across the street is perfectly unscathed. But whose reality are you really seeing? Upon closer inspection, you will likely discover that no one’s life is perfect and for every cleanest, best waxed car ever there is a crumb somewhere else. So it is important to focus on yourself and only yourself with respect to your own life and world and to evaluate ONLY how you are doing in this life of yours. We keep the word perfect out of our vocabulary here at Best Ever You. It says Best Ever You, not Perfect Ever You.

Step 2. Moments Matter
How are you using your precious time? Are you living a life awake, aware and with purpose and intention or are you just moseying along? Are you in the present moment or are you in some future moment of worry or some past moment of regret or trying to reclaim a past glory moment. Nothing is worse than missing a moment. Think of the parent on the ever so important phone call or sitting at the computer as their child is trying desperately in any way to grab a moment of their real presence and attention, but the parent just nods and barely acknowledges the child or worse gets angry at the child. Think of the moments you wish you could steal back and replay with your parent or parents who have now passed. Think of the moments you wish you could bring back when your kids were younger. Life is a priority.

3. Find Your Why
It takes a look within to learn and practice and be your Best Ever You. It is important to understand that it is a continuous process. There is always a moment to be your best or help someone be their best. When we become engaged, consumed or perhaps overwhelmed with life’s responsibilities it is easy to let ourselves slip into the behaviors or habits that are less than our best. We live our daily lives facing a continuum between best and stressed. Our environment can become cluttered, we may not sleep as well, we may make choices that reduce our positive energy and generates more of a stress based response to our daily life. These are all clues that something needs to shift. If we took a minute to write out what our life looks and feels like when we are feeling our best we would find there are indicators that we can follow to monitor our well-being.

Stop and think. What is your reason? What is your why? What inspires and motivates you?

4. Examine Your Positive Self
When you look in the mirror, what do you say? When you are in a room are full of people, what are you thinking or how do you behave? Are you spewing venom on yourself and killing your self-esteem. Quick. Find the antidote. It’s the power of positive thinking. Inject yourself with powerful positive language and live on. Say positive thoughts and words like “I am beautiful.” “I am loved.” “I am capable.” “I accept myself.” and “I am worthy.”

5. Create Your Best Life
Each day, each hour, and each moment we have the opportunity to stop and to reassess how we are feeling and start over. Examine the areas of your life that you wish were different and begin each moment to be your best. Sign up for our monthly newsletter and receive our free Create Your Best Life Coaching tool. Visit this link to get started. http://www.besteveryou.com/get-started-create-your-best-life.htm This will help you identify those key areas that create stress versus joy. What changes are you going to focus on? Here are some clues that some specific areas of your life need attention:
-Physical environment: Is it cluttered or neat and organized?
-Physical health: Are we eating, sleeping, and exercising?
-Emotional reactivity: Do we have the ability to calmly respond versus react? What is the status of relationships? What’s you fun factor?
-Spiritual energy: Is there something meaningful and purposeful in our lives? Are we inspired?
-Social: Are we engaging with others? Do we have a sense of community?

6. Discover Your Values and Create a Value System for Yourself
This can be tricky as we age, as the values that we were raised with may not be the values we grow into. Our lives and our value systems are dynamic and change. What values do you have that direct your big picture decisions? If someone gave you a limited life expectancy would you be able to say you are living today, the way you would want to for the remainder of your life? What would change? What do you want your children to understand as most important or what do you want people to remember most about you? These questions alert us to whether or not our values are aligned with our actions and lifestyle. If values aren’t aligned, asking ourselves what is true to who we are, can redirect us and bring new awareness to what we seek to change.

7. Practice Wellness
How well are you taking care of yourself? Are you treating yourself well? What is wellness to you? Do you feel fit? Are you satisfied with how you feel? Are you eating well? Are you exercising? Are you stepping into your closet and having a cringe-factor moment where nothing fits? Practice wellness. It may be part of a new value system you implement for yourself. Practicing overall wellness has more components that just your jeans fitting on any given day. Wellness is an overall way of choosing to live. It’s eating healthier, mindset, exercise, and finding a way for yourself where the internal critical and worrying voice(s) quiet. It’s being ready for the big event now, for example, instead of seeing the event six months down the road and going on a crash diet for it. It’s a way of always being. It’s practicing wellness habits that help you feel your best each day.

8. Discover the Power of We and Us
The power of we begins with you. We think you are amazing and awesome in every way, but life is not all about you. It’s about us – together. Ask someone today, “How can I help you?” You’ll be amazed at the responses.

-What have you done for the world lately?
-Are you showing up when you are needed?
-How often do you do something for others just because you want to – not because it’s expected?
-Do you do things for others and expect nothing in return?
-Do you turn off that voice that nags at you when you can’t believe you did something for someone, but they did nothing for you in return?

9. Manage your behavior(s)
Who we truly are at our best is often reflected in how we behave. Does our behavior match our values? Do we respond to situations versus react? Are we generous and understanding versus critical and judgmental? We usually operate somewhere on a continuum each day depending on how calm and aware we are of what our wise inner voice is saying. When we aren’t able to hear that highest self-talk, we often neglect our self-care and turn to external calming sources. When we have tendency towards over-indulging it is usually triggered by this imbalance and not hearing our wisest messages coming from within. Quiet awareness and examination of our daily circumstances and their influence on our behavior can help us get back into focus of our best self.

10. Failure & Pain are Teaching Moments
How many times have you stopped yourself from trying something because you were afraid you wouldn’t be good enough? How many times have you hit your thigh on the corner of a drawer before you walk a different route or stop, pause and shut the drawer first in awareness that it is open and you’ve been through this before? We learn from failure or disappointment. Moments can be wake up calls and it is important to tune in, listen and adjust your life and behavior accordingly.

On a deeper level, when we pass through a crisis that brings fear and anxiety and sadness or whatever strong emotions that come, eventually, the realization that we can learn something and be a better us from the experience comes to us. The sooner we quietly assess a situation from a place of strength, the sooner we make the best choices for our lives.

11. Laugh at Yourself
Have you laughed at yourself today? We are each our own stand-up comedian routine if you stop and think about how funny life can be. Sometimes there is even humor in the darkest of moments and sometimes that humor guides us to see the brightest days. Laugh at yourself. We all do some of the silliest things.

12. Surround Yourself with Love
Side step naysayers. With even the slightest of change, comes a force around you trying to help you stay your very best same as always person. You may think to yourself one day, “Self, I just don’t want to be this way anymore.” As a result, you start to make changes.

Naysayers are people who make fun of you or try to stop you from making changes or who want you to give up. They may not even know how they are as sabotaging your efforts because they are out of touch with their own struggles. They’re often people who are trying to break the cycle themselves or have yet to acknowledge their habits. They aren’t wrong to think the way they do, but their thoughts just don’t fit yours anymore. Breaking free from their influence can be difficult. The only cook that needs to be in the kitchen is you.

13. Make Small Lasting Changes
Take one thing – a thought, an idea, a value, or a belief – and make that one thing a focus point. Allow yourself ten minutes each day in silence to write, think, or ponder whatever thoughts come up around this one thought or idea. It’s amazing how just one small change can have an everlasting ripple effect leading to bigger changes. Many people make repeated attempts, create resolutions, and demonstrate efforts to try to bring themselves to center. This generally doesn’t work well and usually the opposite effect occurs. In order to create lasting, transformative change, usually you must find your center and then adjust your lifestyle.

14. Find Your Best, Most Peaceful You
Peace rests within your heart. When your heart speaks, it is very important to tune in and listen. It’s your own internal peace guidance system. Find what makes you peaceful. Just be YOU. No one can take you away from you. You are you. We are each unique with our own special talents and gifts. Who are you? What is your: Who? What? Where? When? and Why?

15. Figure out What Money Can and Can’t Buy
Money can’t keep you alive forever. Money has a deceiving way of appearing to make our time here easier. Does money buy love? Money buys things, but do things matter? Are you better than someone else or is someone better than you because of their things and money? Does money buy better behavior and peace within? Truly, does the person with the most toys win? Does the lack of money cause you to not get the attention or recognition you need as a person?

Just what is the point of money?

It’s a discussion with ourselves that not many of us have and yet it remains one of the most argued about topics around us. From governments to your own home, money is a battle ground topic. Are we here today to help make the world a little bit better than when we leave it or are we here to just take, take, take and never give?

For many people, money is a source of always wanting more. You can always hear folks saying, “If only I had $450,000, I could…… If only I had $1,000,000 I would…”

Handling and dealing with money issues starts with a belief that it can be better, no matter what is happening in your life such as job promotions, inheritance, job loss, wage cuts, downsizing or ill health.

Regardless of financial situation or circumstances there are many different ways to find happiness.

Giving away our power to be happy based on any one thing only defeats us. It’s not about our money. It’s about how we make meaning from our circumstances and how we direct our energy. Some of the most generous people in the world barely have enough to eat, but they share what they have.

Money is really a compound issue of wants combined with reality combined with circumstances all mixing together to make you a manager of money whether you like it or not.

How are your money managing skills?
Think about your real life needs for a moment.
Today I have ____________.
I’d like to set a goal of earning ________________.
Specifically, I am going to do that by doing _________________.

Then each year, these sentences grow, change and alter with another set of circumstances invading those sentences called LIFE.

My reality today is that I got promoted at work and I can _______________.
My reality today is that I received an unexpected bonus and I can ____________.
My reality today is that I am in the hospital and actually spending ____________ rather than me earning ___________.
My reality today is that my septic tank broke resulting in a bill of ____________.
My reality today is that my child is going to college next year, resulting in a bill of ________________________________________. (Notice that line is longer than the others!!)

You can see how complicated money is and how we use it. Think about your life with respect to money, what you dream, what you need, what you want and what you actually have and how you manage that and find happiness within.

RECIPE NOTES:
Your favorite family recipes are passed from generation to generation.
The recipe cards are tattered, torn or sometimes so secret they are memorized.
Excellent recipes remain with us and feed our mind, body and spirit, creating our best.

Is it time for a “Spiritual” Spring Cleaning?

By Celebrity Makeup Artist, Life Coach, and Bestselling Author Michelle Phillips

Nature has a beautiful way of cleansing to purge what is no longer serving it and make way for renewal. Old leaves fall off and gentle winds carry them away to help the trees gather water and brace for the cold. With the spring thaw comes a flurry of new foliage to cover the bare branches and the growth starts anew.

In many ways, we as people have adopted a similar schedule for our own cleansing and renewal that follows nature’s calendar. We use this time each year to go through drawers and closets to clean out the clutter, dust the nooks and crannies, and give things the “out with the old, in with the new” spirit.

On a similar note, I have seen through my career as a makeup artist that much of the beauty on our skin comes from treating it with the same reverence; cleansing and gentling exfoliating off the old, dry layers and allowing the new, glowing skin to surface.

It makes me wonder though, if taking such care of our external selves is so beneficial to creating beauty in our lives, why should we stop there? Let’s keep going with a spiritual and emotional tidying up that truly sets the stage for a period of growth in our lives. Much like pulling out the couch to find life-sized dust bunnies, we might be surprised what we find by searching deep areas of our lives that may not get the attention they should.

Here are some places to look to start scrubbing away the negative in your world:

List your positives. Sometimes when there is clutter on our furniture we only see the mess. The same goes for when we focus on the negative aspects of our lives. Our failures, etc. By listing your positive influences, accomplishments, and qualities, you polish the plusses to shine beyond the clutter.

Nourish your spirit. Too many of us have influences in our lives in the form of books, TV, and movies that become the prism that we see the world through. And unfortunately today, so many of these media sources are dark and negative. Take the time to find and enjoy positive influences on a regular basis to bring a more peaceful outlook.

Plant the seeds for growth. Have you always wanted to take an art class, dance lessons, or try meditation? Rather than continuing to stagnate or grow in directions not of your own design, list the top ten things that you love to do and then start doing them. Make no excuses. When we begin to incorporate the things we love to do and experiment with new things on an on-going basis our lives become full of joy, happiness, and beauty.

While the first part of my career may have focused on outer beauty, there was a point where a shift was created. An awakening to the connection between the beauty of our inner spirits and what we radiate out to the world became clear.

By taking the time to nurture your spirit and cleanse yourself of negative influences, you clean space for more beauty to come into your world! Happy cleaning!

PERIMENOPAUSE! YAY!

I want to share with you my favorite new book!

The Secret Pleasures of Menopause by Dr. Christiane Northrup.

I have suffered from major PMS symptoms for years. It got worse after having my third baby. To help my symptoms subside, doctors suggested birth control (which I don’t need cause one of us is “fixed”) and for my mood swings…which I swear I never have LOL…wink wink, Prozac was suggested for a quick fix!

I have no desire to be on hormones or anti depressants so I decided to just deal with my monthly “icks”! Now that I am in my 40’s, I have to say, it has been getting a bit more difficult because I am in the perimenopause stage and other crazy things are starting to occur.

Last Spring I had the pleasure of meeting Dr. Northrup’s AMAZING daughter Kate at a Hay House workshop in Boston. I was invited to join she and her friends for lunch during the break. It was interesting, out of all the people attending this workshop, that I would meet Kate. My best friend, Lori, had been begging me to read Dr. Northrup’s books for years, and I never had. It was if there were angels above saying “you ask for help and you shall receive”. Here she is! After explaining, to Kate, my crazy struggle with trying to find a doctor who could help me deal with my symptoms naturally, she suggested that I read her mom’s book.

It has taken me quite a while to read her book…because I have very little downtime to read …however it is SO WORTH IT! I have a whole new outlook on what I am going through! The great thing is – it is NOT A NEGATIVE ONE!

After reading her book, I am embracing the change, feeling blessed to be at this point in my life, and realizing that a lot of the “ickiness” can be alleviated naturally. Already I am feeling better. You have to read it for yourself to understand. Menopause may entail some uncomfortable physical feelings that come and go…yet it is so worth it when you realize what this time of our lives is really all about!

The Secret Pleasures of Menopause is a groundbreaking book that is long overdue! Christiane Northrup, M.D., delivers a breakthrough message that will help millions and millions of perimenopausal and menopausal women just like you understand that at menopause . . . life has just begun! It is the beginning of a very exciting and fulfilling time, full of pleasure beyond your wildest dreams!

By Rob Fowler