spirituality

My Most Meaningful Lesson: Love yourself before all the rest.

By Anita Moorjani

We cannot give others what we ourselves do not have.

“How could I have said something so stupid??”

“That was so dumb of me!! I should have known better!”

“I will never get it right! Why am I even bothering to try??”

“I wish I wasn’t so clumsy! Why can’t I be more elegant and graceful, like Janet?”

Does any of that sound familiar to you? That was my inner voice, several years ago. That was the voice in my head, constantly nagging, putting myself down, wishing I was different, better, smarter, stronger, more spiritual. Wishing I was anyone but who I am.

The most meaningful lesson I learned from being at death’s door is that unless I love myself, nothing else in my life can function at its best. The amount of depth, meaning, and joy I experience in my life is in direct proportion to how much love I have for myself. The amount of love, kindness, patience I have for others is also directly proportional to how much love, patience and kindness I have for myself, because we cannot give others what we ourselves do not have. And, unsurprisingly, the amount of love, respect, support, and compassion I receive from others is also in direct proportion to how much of the same I have for myself.

Many of us are taught from a young age to “love our neighbors as we love ourselves”. But what if we don’t love ourselves? What if we are our own worst enemy, and our own harshest critic? If we treat others as we treat ourselves, then are we judging everyone else with the same harsh brush that we are using to paint ourselves? Is this why there are more people on our planet obsessed with trying to condemn anyone who is different, instead of learning to embrace everyone who shares our earth, and rejoice in our differences?

Learning to love others begins with learning to love ourselves unconditionally first. This seems to be a well-kept secret, which no one taught me as I was growing up. On the contrary, I was encouraged from a young age to put myself last, that it is selfish to love ourselves, or put ourselves first. In fact, I used to give and give of myself, without tending to my own needs, to the point that I became so drained it started to affect my health. Continuing in this vein, I constantly believed that I needed to work on myself because I wasn’t good enough as I am. So I continued to work on being “better”, kinder, more “loving”, more “spiritual”. I was always judging myself because I never felt I made the mark.

And then I got cancer. In fact, I didn’t just get cancer, I nearly died from cancer! But my cancer was the greatest gift I could ever have. Nearly dying taught me how to live. My cancer taught me the importance of loving and valuing myself unconditionally for who I am – a perfect being of the Universe, who is worthy and deserving of love, without needing to prove myself, better myself or change myself in any way. I became aware that I am someone who has a right to express my uniqueness with abandon.

I now also understand that I don’t have to work at being spiritual. Being spiritual is who we are, at our core, whether we realize it or not. It is our true nature, so we cannot NOT be spiritual! Being yourself and being spiritual are one and the same thing.

Because of my experience, I will never forsake myself ever again. I will never let myself down, treat myself like a doormat, or make myself small so others can feel big. I have learned that this is the biggest gift that I give not only to myself, but also to the planet, because I paint others with the same brush as I use on myself.

My life is much more joyful and meaningful now, and I have much more love to share with others than I ever did before, which I do unconditionally, and without draining myself. But most important, I now understand that if I do not express my authenticity, the Universe will be deprived of who I came here to be.

The Something More Factor

Do you have an unnameable yearning? A longing that lurks in the back of your brain or deep in your belly that just can’t be expressed in words? Do you have a deep undefined desire for “Something More”?

When I first began teaching my sex and spirituality workshops, I’d ask people, “What are your orgasms like now and what would make them better?” The vast majority of people answered the second part of that question with some variation of: “I know there’s Something More out there. I want to be able to let go and find it.” I named this universal longing the Something More Factor.

The Something More Factor is what drives us all in erotic—and spiritual—exploration. The crucial first step to finding your Something More is permission—permission to look beyond what you have now for something new and exciting, yet authentically you. This permission can come from you or from some higher authority. But even if your family, society, spiritual community and school all encourage you to find Something More, you still must be able and willing to give yourself permission to go find it.

The next step is believing that your Something More is real and possible. In 1989, author Louise Hay delivered a talk called the Totality of Possibilities. In it, she gave us permission—and encouraged us to give ourselves permission—to release old beliefs and fears. In doing so, she, said, we would see that the limited set of possibilities we thought was available to us was a fantasy. In reality, we have an infinite number of possibilities to choose from—the Totality of Possibilities.

Liberating as the Totality of Possibilities can be, the notion of unlimited possibilities can also be frightening, especially when it comes to sex and relationships. The Totality of Possibilities inevitably includes a number of sexual activities, types of people and styles of relationships that you may have absolutely no interest in. How do you sort through the Totality of Possibilities of sex and relationships to find the ones that are right for you? How do you avoid the options you would hate? And, is it worth disrupting the flow of your life to look for these possibilities?

Many of us settle for “good enough” in one or more areas of our lives. We find a stable job, a nice place to live and a committed relationship, and then stop. We tell ourselves, “My life is not so bad. I have a roof over my head and someone to curl up with at night. Why should I risk losing any of that? There’s no guarantee I’ll find something better.” It’s this fear of the unknown—specifically the unwanted unknown—that can keep us stuck in the same old rut, doing the same old thing and getting increasingly bored and dissatisfied.

What if your pursuit of your Something More could make every aspect of your life more fulfilling? What if it could make you not only a happier person, but also a better person? And what if the only thing standing between you and an ecstatic life is fear and limited thinking?

Perhaps you know what your Something More actually is. Perhaps you long for more fulfilling sex, a new relationship, or a more rewarding career. Even if your Something More still seems vague, simply staying present with the longing to have more ecstasy in your life can work wonders.

Here’s a 4-step plan for discovering and manifesting your Something More:

Cultivate a consciousness of abundance. Imagine that there is a ceiling above you. Below the ceiling is everything that you believe is possible for you. Above the ceiling is the Totality of Possibilities. Practice lifting or shattering this ceiling. Each time you lift or shatter the ceiling, embrace the new Totality of Possibilities that is revealed. Find the next ceiling. Repeat.
Breathe. Practice taking full, deep breaths. With each breath imagine breathing in new possibilities and breathing out fear. Use your breath to feel bigger, stronger, and more eager to experience ecstasy.
Write yourself a permission slip. Give yourself written permission to have the kind of sex you want, or the great relationship, or the new job. Be very detailed. Give yourself permission to have every juicy bit of your desire. If you find it challenging to give your self this much permission, imagine being given that permission by someone you love and respect, or by your wise higher self.
Cultivate the qualities of an ecstatic explorer. People who are able to find their Something More on a regular basis are compassionate, courageous, creative, curious, desiring, enthusiastic, flexible, honest, loving, mindful, passionate, persistent, playful, respectful, funny, and sensuous. Embrace these qualities in yourself and look for them in others. You’ll be well on your way to finding your Something More and living a more ecstatic life.

Mind, Beauty, Spirit with Celebrity Makeup Artist Michelle Phillips

We are among the first generations of women who have the ability to be or do anything we want. The women before us fought long and hard so that we could lead countries or corporations, or stay home as mothers and lead our families and communities. We are stronger and smarter . . . yet we are lost! We’re stuck between what we could be and what we think we should be, searching to balance that with our femininity. We’re grasping to attain our ideal of beauty with the belief that if we could just find the right hairstyle or finally fit into the latest fashions, everything else in our lives would fall into place.

I believe there’s something more to achieving the balance between inner strength and outer beauty. You just have to know where to look. . . .

If you’ve lost touch with the woman you wanted to become physically, emotionally, or spiritually, it can affect every aspect of the way you look. Let’s not waste time on a makeover, though—let’s go for a transformation. Are you ready to create your ultimate life?

It’s time to make the connection between your outer appearance and your deep inner self. By doing so, and expressing it in all of your everyday actions and choices, you’ll radiate a beauty that can’t be outmatched. I believe that by rediscovering and defining who you are on the inside and what you most want out of life, you will reveal to the world what makes you uniquely beautiful. This is the basis of the Beauty Blueprint. Every woman has one, but not every woman recognizes what hers contains.
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I spent the first part of my career behind the scenes of TV and movie sets as a celebrity makeup artist and learned quite a few lessons about true “beauty” in the process. As my career progressed and I moved in front of the camera, speaking to women’s groups, I learned even more. What made the deepest impression on me was the realization that the nature of what makes us beautiful goes well beyond our exteriors. It’s passion and compassion . . . it’s our love, laughter, tears, and sorrow, and how we combine it with a nurturing strength of spirit. Our beauty shines when we allow ourselves to revel in these qualities and share them with the world. It’s in these moments that we are all radiant and exquisite. But how do we women reclaim this authentic beauty?

I started to discover the answer to that question while on my own journey. Through my experiences, a shift of awareness occurred. That’s when my mission in life became crystal clear: I had to share what I’d learned by helping other women rediscover and express their true beauty. And so, as part of my dream to inspire others, this book was born, a “Beauty Blueprint” that would allow me to help women experience their own profound shift.

By creating and living your unique Blueprint, you’ll find that once again, or perhaps for the first time, you will walk out the door every day with your head held high. You will be more confident about who you are, what you stand for, and where you are heading. In turn, people around you will take notice and deeply appreciate you for all your beautiful qualities.

Change is always possible—in fact, it’s inevitable. My first question for you, then, before we get started, is this: Are you going to fight change or embrace it? Because you can become whomever you want to be. Believe it! You can become the woman who doesn’t just turn heads—you’ll become a woman who touches hearts as well!

To achieve this, I’ve included the three things needed for change and growth: a plan, support from others, and inspiration. Join my network and I’ll help you put together your own Blueprint, which is your plan. I’ll also show you how to establish your own support system, and I’ll provide a healthy dose of motivation and encouragement in the process.
Along the way, I’ll share the inspirational stories of friends and clients who have identified and attained the goals they deeply desired, in spite of the obstacles that cluttered their paths.

Now, if you’re ready to transform beyond anything you could have dreamed of, let’s get started. It’s time for you to become the woman your granddaughters will tell their granddaughters about. It’s time for you to become an extraordinary woman from the inside out!

Go to http://www.michellephillips.com and sign up for the Mind, Beauty, Spirit Network to receive free classes, videos, and articles to support you in creating the life and look of your dreams!

Is it time for a “Spiritual” Spring Cleaning?

By Celebrity Makeup Artist, Life Coach, and Bestselling Author Michelle Phillips

Nature has a beautiful way of cleansing to purge what is no longer serving it and make way for renewal. Old leaves fall off and gentle winds carry them away to help the trees gather water and brace for the cold. With the spring thaw comes a flurry of new foliage to cover the bare branches and the growth starts anew.

In many ways, we as people have adopted a similar schedule for our own cleansing and renewal that follows nature’s calendar. We use this time each year to go through drawers and closets to clean out the clutter, dust the nooks and crannies, and give things the “out with the old, in with the new” spirit.

On a similar note, I have seen through my career as a makeup artist that much of the beauty on our skin comes from treating it with the same reverence; cleansing and gentling exfoliating off the old, dry layers and allowing the new, glowing skin to surface.

It makes me wonder though, if taking such care of our external selves is so beneficial to creating beauty in our lives, why should we stop there? Let’s keep going with a spiritual and emotional tidying up that truly sets the stage for a period of growth in our lives. Much like pulling out the couch to find life-sized dust bunnies, we might be surprised what we find by searching deep areas of our lives that may not get the attention they should.

Here are some places to look to start scrubbing away the negative in your world:

List your positives. Sometimes when there is clutter on our furniture we only see the mess. The same goes for when we focus on the negative aspects of our lives. Our failures, etc. By listing your positive influences, accomplishments, and qualities, you polish the plusses to shine beyond the clutter.

Nourish your spirit. Too many of us have influences in our lives in the form of books, TV, and movies that become the prism that we see the world through. And unfortunately today, so many of these media sources are dark and negative. Take the time to find and enjoy positive influences on a regular basis to bring a more peaceful outlook.

Plant the seeds for growth. Have you always wanted to take an art class, dance lessons, or try meditation? Rather than continuing to stagnate or grow in directions not of your own design, list the top ten things that you love to do and then start doing them. Make no excuses. When we begin to incorporate the things we love to do and experiment with new things on an on-going basis our lives become full of joy, happiness, and beauty.

While the first part of my career may have focused on outer beauty, there was a point where a shift was created. An awakening to the connection between the beauty of our inner spirits and what we radiate out to the world became clear.

By taking the time to nurture your spirit and cleanse yourself of negative influences, you clean space for more beauty to come into your world! Happy cleaning!