Beauty – Page 3

Stuck with What’s Safe?

Holding on to a false sense of security often lures women away from the challenge of embracing their fears. Traditionally, men are the risk takers—they’re encouraged to play hard, get dirty, and try new things. Women, on the other hand, typically grow up with messages about the importance of being safe and secure. When I was on the verge of leaving my marriage, for example, my father was very afraid for me. “You’re giving up your security!” he warned. Even though I knew I had to leave, I was terrified. My own fear made it nearly impossible to take the next, right step.

At that moment, I needed a reality check. Maybe you need one now, too. We women take care of our households, our families, our friends, our careers, our health, our looks, and our finances. If we can handle all that (and more), we can handle anything! We wouldn’t have come so far in life if we weren’t capable.

So the first step to embracing fear is to give it a good dose of reality. Remind yourself of everything that you are already successfully managing in your life. Do you see that you’re stronger than you might think?

What no one else may tell you is that the sense of safety you’re used to isn’t as safe as you think. “Sure things” can always fall through, and here’s a perfect example: Recently, a friend approached me with a dilemma. She was stuck in a job she hated but made good money. Then she was offered her dream job, but there were some unknowns and risk factors. Agonizing, she asked, “Do I go for my dream and give up my security or should I stay with this job?”

As we discussed her situation, it became clear that she should go for it, but in the end she chose to let the opportunity pass her by. “I decided to stay where I am—it’s just safer,” she explained. Several months later, though, her “safe” job was eliminated, and she found herself without her sure thing or her dream job. If my friend had eliminated her excuses and embraced her fears, she might have noticed some red flags in her current job and realized that her magic-wand dream perhaps wasn’t as risky as it seemed.

Remember, don’t get stuck with what’s safe because nothing is set in stone.
You’ve heard the story about the frog in a pot of warm water, right? The frog becomes complacent and doesn’t realize that the heat is slowly increasing until it’s too late. Perhaps it was afraid to leap into the unknown despite its growing discomfort, which leads me to the point I want you to understand: Anything can eventually become acceptable, if you let it.

Why do we live in circumstances we dislike? Why do we tolerate the intolerable? Excuses. We all have them: “What will others think?” “I’m not good enough.” “It doesn’t matter.” “I don’t have the time [or money].” “My family needs me too much right now.” “I don’t know how/I don’t know the right people.” This is the voice of fear, and it sabotages our chances for a beautiful life. Those little words debilitate us and shut us down.

I tell my clients that once you eliminate your excuses, you can make better choices and have a much greater chance for achieving real, lasting security. When you do, you will be aligned with your foundation values and start to live your best life!

Excerpt: “The Beauty Blueprint” by Michelle Phillips
http://www.michellephillips.com/book/

A Case of the What-Ifs

After years of coaching woman on how to make positive changes in their lives, I have noticed that some women jump right in to action while others need a little extra help. This is especially true if they have a bad case of the what-ifs: What if I lose my job? What if I make people mad? What if I fail?

For those of you that fall in the later category, overcoming your negative, fear-based thoughts and feelings, including your own what-ifs may take a little work. Here are a few ideas I have shared with clients that have proved to be powerful tools to help the process.

First, think about all of the things that will be positive about the changes you want to make in your life. Write them down. Then ask your self these few questions: What if it does create everything you’ve always wanted? What if your journey takes you in a different direction than anticipated, and it’s much better than what you could have hoped for? What if your new experiences create positive energy and enthusiasm despite the difficulties that come with change? What if you find that you’re an even more incredible person than you ever thought you were capable of becoming? What if you realize that you do have the strength to handle anything that comes your way? What if people notice how incredible your life has become because you took a risk and believed in yourself? What if you inspire your friends and family to improve their own lives?

Well, I can tell you that most likely the positive things I’ve just mentioned will occur. That’s what makes me so excited about leading you on this journey. I know there are some amazing, unexpected realizations that are waiting around the corner for you. I can also guarantee that dealing with a temporary case of the what-ifs is a lot better than a lifetime of “shoulda, coulda, woulda’s” hanging over your head. So live without regrets!
Excerpt: “The Beauty Blueprint” by Michelle Phillips
http://www.michellephillips.com/book/

Money can come and go, but emotional bankruptcy is a killer.

Just a short time ago, I was driving my daughter’s friend, Jordan, home after a fun day at the beach. I noticed that as we were getting closer to the young girl’s home she was becoming quite upset. I asked her if she was okay and she replied “my mom, sister and I had to move this week because we were evicted from our home”. Jordan went on to share that her mom’s second husband was abusive, had left them and she was trying her best on a small salary. My heart sank as I immediately felt her mother’s pain of trying to make it as a single mom with young children. As we approached her new home I realized we were in the worst part of town.

Jordan went into her house and quickly came back out running to my car-crying hysterically. She begged to stay with us for the night. She said she didn’t want to go into that awful place. It was the “slums” in her eyes and she was upset at her mother for moving her there. Jordan’s mom quickly followed, tears in her eyes holding her six month old baby, and assured me it was okay and best to take her daughter for the night.

My heart broke for her as we drove away. What she didn’t know is that our stories are the same. Yes, stories.

Many years ago, I left an abusive marriage and ended up on food stamps to support my kids. The lack of money was not as much what took me down, it was more about pulling myself up from the damage that was done from the words and threats that I endured on top of feeling as if I was a failure. Little by little, I was able to pick my self up and do the work to build a solid foundation of self-love.

When we are emotionally bankrupt it can be a danger zone. Not taking the time to fully heal and regain our sense self-worth can often times put us right back in a relationship with someone else who doesn’t value us. When we are hurt and feel down about ourselves, quite often the first person that comes along and tells us we are beautiful and fabulous wins our heart. We begin to find our sense of worth in someone else’s arms only to find ourselves back in the same cycle over and over again.

I got my daughter and Jordan back to my house and settled for bed so that I could make a very important call. I picked up the phone and reached out to the troubled and heartbroken mom. I wanted her to know that I’d been there too and she didn’t do anything wrong. She’s not broken… she’s beautiful, loveable, and capable. I wanted her to know she’s not alone… If she needed anything, I am here. My home is her home. We cried together and talked about how life throws us curve balls and when we pick ourselves up and remember who we are, shower ourselves with love, and surround ourselves with love (ask for help), we can and will survive and thrive in the end.

I dedicate this to all women who have felt or do feel broken. You are not. You are beautiful, you are strong, you are capable of anything. I am here to remind you that you are not alone and you are love…pure love inside. Don’t let someone else break your spirit. Break free and let your spirit soar. Fly beautiful girl, fly!

Love,
Michelle

Schedule Time to Take Action

https://flic.kr/p/6ArL3W
It’s important to schedule your Master Action steps just as you would a trip to the dentist or an oil change for your car. Not many people can “quit” their current life to work on inventing a new one, but everyone can find 30 minutes every day to journal, make a phone call, or meditate. You can begin living your dream right here, right now. Remember, if you want to supercharge your success, don’t just write down your goals and action steps. Share them with a friend or members of your coaching circle, and check in weekly.

Although your intentions can guide you toward your dreams, you still have to get out there and make things happen. This may feel uncomfortable or even risky, but I’ve watched all my clients experience similar feelings as they move through the process. When you understand the steps of transformation and what each step entails, you can move faster toward your ultimate goal, with less chance of getting stuck or hung up somewhere along the way.
For some of my clients, taking action and asking for help also involves facing certain fears they’ve been avoiding. If that sounds familiar, be encouraged! I’ve been in your shoes, and I have some wonderful tips in the next step to help you shake your fears and walk confidently into the light.

Affirmation: I make time to nurture my spirit and honor my life’s purpose. I ask for and accept help when I need it.

Excerpt: “The Beauty Blueprint” by Michelle Phillips
http://www.michellephillips.com/book/

Small Steps Make a Big Difference

A Harvard economist conducted a study to determine whether offering rewards to children was an effective way to motivate them to do well in school. Interestingly, some of the findings suggested that students who broke goals down into smaller steps—which were immediately under the control of the student, such as “Read one book this week”—had greater academic success than their peers who had goals but no clear plan to achieve them.1

Remember, you don’t have to be an expert in every step toward achieving your dream. Many women give up because they don’t think they can get there alone. I have news for you: you don’t have to go it alone! Think of a chef creating a delicious gourmet meal. If she can’t locate a key ingredient, does she throw out everything and order takeout? Of course not. She goes to the store and asks someone for help.

If you’re a mom, you probably already know how to ask for help. If your little one needed medical attention at midnight, for instance, you would call someone regardless of the time or inconvenience. You wouldn’t care how you looked to others, either, because your child is more important to you than someone else’s opinion of your parenting skills.

Here’s an exercise I practice when I am feeling overwhelmed. I break my to-do list down into small steps, I think about what my possible needs might be. Then I jot down the names of everyone who can guide me along the way. For me, this includes individuals who could help with specific steps such as putting together my website, writing my manuscript, and learning about the publishing industry.

I refer to this as a Master Resource List, which is an essential component in achieving the steps necessary for success in all areas of your life. So pick up your pen and get to work on your own Master Resource List . Tomorrow I will discuss how to use these resources to accomplish your Master Action List.

Excerpt: “The Beauty Blueprint” by Michelle Phillips
http://www.michellephillips.com/book/

Your Hobbies Can Boost Your Success!

The more hobbies you have, the more likely you are to gain greater social power, influence, and advantage, according to sociologists in Britain. Researchers there are studying the power of hobbies to effect upward mobility in society.

If you don’t have the means to enjoy one of your top ten activities, you need to get creative. For example, taking bubble baths is on my list, but when my kids were very young, I couldn’t even go to the bathroom without a little one in the room with me. A relaxing bath (alone!) seemed impossible. My simple solution was to plan it ahead of time on my calendar. I’d make “spa appointments” with myself and stick to them.

You can do it, too. Perhaps you’re a single mom who’s craving some alone time but doesn’t have the resources to hire a sitter. You could make Thursday evenings your special time after the kids are tucked into bed. Take out a book, light a candle, and make yourself a soothing cup of tea. Your inner spirit needs this attention. Nurturing your soul (doing what you love) strengthens your core (your foundation) and increases your ability to achieve your dreams.

I also wrote on my list that I love to travel. Do you like to travel, too? Well, for most people (including me), finding the time and money to plan a trip isn’t always doable. This is where you once again need to be creative. Why not pack your own lunch for work and cut back at the local coffee shop? You’ll save at least $50 if you do it for a month. You could then treat yourself to lunch at a hip café and visit a museum you’ve never been to before. Get my drift? Start doing things now that make you smile and feel good. Lifting your spirits will help you make positive changes and reach your goals much quicker.

Keep in mind that if you always deny yourself the happiness you deserve, life seems so much harder. You feel down, and are less resilient and motivated. So many women rely on medication, food, or alcohol to suppress the pain of a depleted spirit. Pleasure, not suppression, is the solution. Put your top-ten list into practice and let your authentic self come alive!

Excerpt: The Beauty Blueprint by Michelle Phillips
http://www.michellephillips.com/book/

Enjoy the Rewards!

Many people want to change but aren’t willing to do the work. When you have faith that the difficulties you face can be healed and fixed, our wonderful minds begin to use their subconscious energy to create solutions, there are physical effects as well. Frown lines begin to soften, worry lines disappear, mindless eating stops, and quality of sleep improves. We can breathe deeply and laugh more often. As life starts to look brighter, our faces do, too.

Affirmation :I am courageous and strong. I face the truth in every area of my life, and I reap the rewards.

Excerpt: “The Beauty Blueprint” by Michelle Phillips

Getting Rid of Judgments

The next time you find yourself criticizing someone, ask yourself: Do I really know what is triggering or motivating her choices? You can even say, I’m sorry she made that choice. Something is going on with her. This is a powerful way to model true beauty to the women around you.

When we criticize an individual, we are also identifying with him or her in some aspect. A client once told me, “When I look at my ex, who was horrible to me, I realize that I have the capability of being just as angry and mean to others. If I’m going to be free, I have to bless him and wish him well, and not permit any negativity to remain in my heart.”

By refusing to cast judgment, we help ourselves live in true beauty. We’re breaking the cycle of fear and anger. It’s also vital to remember that we influence everyone around us, especially our children, friends, neighbors, co-workers, and so on. Young girls need positive role models! We women must teach the next generation how to lead truly beautiful, authentic lives.
Excerpt: The Beauty Blueprint by Michelle Phillips

It’s A Mind-Set

As a beauty expert and stylist, I’ve seen it over and over again: a woman projects externally what she feels internally. If you want to achieve a genuine transformation, one that changes your appearance and impacts your relationships, you need a positive mind-set. Beauty and growth always come from unconditional love and support. Negativity blocks lasting change and tears down beauty. When you’re loved, you feel beautiful. When you’re supported, you grow.

When I was in the downward spiral of my depression, a friend suggested that I try attending his church. I told him that while I appreciated the suggestion, I wasn’t a very religious person. I considered myself more “spiritual.” He assured me that his church was different and that the person giving the sermons was less of a preacher and more of an inspirational speaker.

Since I had nothing to lose and everything to gain, when the following Sunday rolled around, I picked up my mom and we went to my friend’s church. I listened to the speaker and hung on her every word, tears flowing down my face the entire time. Although there were some 500 people there, I felt as if she was speaking directly to me. Most of all, I felt like I was home.

I started attending regularly, and the sermons would lift me up and carry me through the week. Since I was becoming a familiar face there, I also stepped into a beautiful circle of new friends. The church became a constant source of unconditional love and support.

You don’t have to go to a church to experience this, though. Go online or visit your local community center and look for clubs or organizations that are of interest to you. You might even be able to find a women’s club in your neighborhood. You can also sign up for my monthly newsletter on my website (www.MichellePhillips.com) for ongoing support, love and encouragement.

Love is all around you! Identifying the beauty surrounding you can be a revelation. It can change the way you feel about your current challenges as well as how you view any future hardships or mishaps that come your way.

Excerpt: The Beauty Blueprint by Michelle Phillips

Uncovering Your Foundation

https://www.flickr.com/photos/sassenach/5004858315/
At one point, I was enjoying great success in my career and accepting many exciting opportunities . . . but I wasn’t confident. Something didn’t feel right, and I finally realized that I didn’t know who I was. I knew I was successful, but that wasn’t what I identified with the most. I was making dreams come true, but what if they weren’t my dreams?
As I continued doing makeovers, I saw that many other women struggled in the same way. It seemed the busier the woman, the more confused she felt. What was going on? One makeover helped me find the answer.
My team and I were doing a makeover on a beautiful young mother. We gave her a new hair color, a fantastic bob that highlighted her bone structure, and a gorgeous makeup application. We fine-tuned her appearance in every way, and she looked dazzling! However, her body language told a completely different story.
This lovely woman wanted to hide more after her makeover than before! She looked amazing but didn’t feel comfortable. Her new look wasn’t her. She was stunning on the outside but miserable on the inside, and it showed. I immediately wanted to figure out what went wrong.

It turned out that she was a huge sports nut. She loved physical activity and hitting the gym. When she moved, she felt alive. When she competed, she felt beautiful. What my client needed was a makeover that affirmed her values. We could enhance her beauty only after we uncovered her foundation.

This experience helped me learn why most makeovers disappoint women or leave them feeling empty. So, my clients work through all of the steps before we address their appearance. In other words, I don’t talk liquid versus powder foundation until I understand a woman’s true foundation. If this sounds like a lot of work, it is . . . but it’s also a lot of fun. This is where the real you emerges! What feeds your soul? What nourishes your authentic self?

Excerpt: The Beauty Blueprint by Michelle Phillips
Purchase: http://www.amazon.com/dp/1401931731/?tag=mh0b-20&hvadid=3525344955&ref=pd_sl_qdo7p6n55_ee