self doubt

It was an amazing first week for my new radio show The Radiance Factor on VividLife Radio. I can’t thank you all enough for listening, your wonderful feedback, and of course the show’s producer Shayne Travis and my guest Anita Moorjani for sharing their inspirational gifts.

I was very excited about debuting the show with Anita as she exemplifies the message of awakening to our true beauty and sharing it with the world that I hope to make the theme of every show. After battling cancer for 4 years Anita was near the end of her fight; her body was covered in tumors, lungs filled with fluid, in a wheelchair and only able to breathe with the help of an oxygen tank she slipped in to a coma.

At that time Anita was given hours to live by doctors and in the midst of this experience, she was given a level of clarity and peace that told her you will you not die, you will LIVE…you will LOVE yourself…and teach others the power of this amazing gift. She was felt connected to herself and everyone else on a deeper level of pure love that she ever felt imaginable. Anita was reconnected with friends and relatives who had gone on given lessons beyond forgiveness to a level of unconditional acceptance and inspired to return to share these blessings with others.

Upon waking from this coma she healed herself from her Stage 4 cancer and documented her experiences and lessons in her NY Times bestseller “Dying to be me…” which has also been featured on Wayne Dyer’s PBS special “Wishes Fulfilled”, Fox and Friends, CNN, and more.

While we talked about her experiences that surrounded her awakening it was the many takeaways from her life before and after that I want to be sure to share with you:

The first lesson Anita shared was that she felt much was that so much of our sickness self-imposed pressure that we place upon ourselves. The pressure to conform to societies, customs, and the beliefs of others that are not in alignment with ourselves, manifests inside of us to make us physically and mentally ill. On the “other side” love was unconditional, it transcended race, beliefs, gender, and the message to gain was that in order to enjoy this life we should work to move beyond these pressures.
Along with that came the powerful lesson is self-acceptance. Throughout her life she was bullied, discriminated against, and in turn, joined in the fight with others by beating herself up. Like many of us, she was steeped in self-doubt and buried in question that left her thinking; Why am I so harsh on myself? Suppressing my creativity to please others? Seeking approval? Tough on myself? Before you can see the beauty in life or others you have to start by seeing the beauty in you! The beholder right?
Next was her awareness to the power of acceptance which came from a feeling of reconnection to her father with whom she had a difficult relationship and who had died 10 years earlier. This experience provided insights into both our relationships on Earth and to those spirits who have gone on that forgiveness is not enough. To forgive someone still acknowledges the wrong between you, unconditional acceptance however gives power to the connection between people that releases each of you to love freely.

The most meaningful lesson Anita says she learned from being at death’s door is that unless we love ourselves, nothing else in our lives can function at their best. The amount of depth, meaning, and joy we experience in my life is in direct proportion to how much love we have for ourselves. The amount of love, kindness, patience we have for others is also directly proportional to how much love, patience and kindness we have for ourselves, because we cannot give others what we ourselves do not have. And, unsurprisingly, the amount of love, respect, support, and compassion I receive from others is also in direct proportion to how much of the same I have for myself.

Her life is much more joyful and meaningful now, and she says she has much more love to share with others than ever before, which she does unconditionally.. But most important, she now understands that if we do not express our authenticity, the Universe will be deprived of who we came here to be.

Be you, as you were meant to be.

You can listen to the actual radio broadcast with Anita Moorjani here: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/vividliferadio/2013/09/10/anita-moorjani-dying-to-be-me

By Erin Cox

self-confidence You’ve done it. You’ve finally achieved one of your biggest, greatest goals and it feels amazing! You’re flying high, and life is glorious! And then…something happens that shakes your confidence. The ugly, negative self-talk starts to creep in, saying, “you don’t belong here,” or “you don’t deserve this,” or “everyone is going to see right through you,” or “who do you think you are?”

How do I know these horrible statements? Because I’ve asked myself every one of them at one point or another over the past year.

I’d left a career where I’d felt confident and knew where I stood. It was… well, boring. I was no longer pushed out of my comfort zone. Then I quit and entered the world of being a writer and speaker. I’ve never felt more alive, free, joyful… and fearful of not being “good enough.”

While heading author’s cocktail party at my first Hay House I Can Do It speaking engagement, I had to repeat in my head, “I belong here” dozens of times as I met authors whose books rocked my world, like Dr. Wayne Dyer, Dr. Robert Holden, and Anita Moorjani. I felt like there was no way I could measure up to those amazing people or even deserve to be in their presence. Self-doubt crept in and nearly took over… but my true voice, that powerful voice within, came through for me. I went in, head held high, took some deep breaths, and had some of the most amazing and meaningful conversations of my life.

Self-affirmation has to become a practice. You deserve all the amazing things in your life. You truly ARE worthy!

Self doubt and having moments of feeling like an imposter happens to everyone, and I mean everyone! Think of the most accomplished and successful person you know. Yep, they’ve felt that way too. It’s human nature.

Here’s what you can do today to believe in yourself and know you completely deserve all the wonderful things that you have experienced and are doing to experience:

1) Write down the top three accomplishments that you are most proud of, and under each, describe how hard you had to work and what you had to sacrifice to achieve of those amazing things. Let it sink in how very much you deserved every one of them!

2) Come up with a positive affirmation to combat the statements of self-doubt that pop into your head. So, if the thought, “What if they find out I’m an imposter and I don’t deserve this?” creeps into your head, then write down affirmations such as: I am worthy, I am enough, I am talented, or I deserve this. Find what most directly combats your thoughts of self-doubt. Write it down and read it countless times each day.

3) When in a place where you feel insecure or out of place, start repeating in your head, “I belong here.” Then reach out to one person at a time and connect when each person as an individual. Don’t beeline for the most important person in the room, but rather connect with whomever you are most drawn to! Once you are comfortable and in your zone, feel free to casually walk over to the “big shots” in the room and give them a sincere compliment. That should start a nice conversation right there!

Everyone struggles with self-doubt from time to time, and awareness is the first step to overcoming this pervasive problem. Once you are aware, you can come up with a strategy to reassure yourself that you are exactly where you belong. Let go of your ego and strive to become more fully and authentically yourself, and these feeling will slowly dissipate. In moments of weakness or self-doubt, try the three tips I mentioned here and keep moving forward.

Have you ever struggled with feeling like an imposter? What strategies do you use to overcome self-doubt? Please share below!