Category: Beauty

You Binged. Now What?

By Melissa Kathryn

So it goes a little something like this…

You’re good all week, you’ve worked out everyday, you went to bed early, you’re feeling fabulous and like you’re on your way to your weight loss goals…and then the weekend hits. All of a sudden something drives you and you find yourself to be home, sitting on your couch eating whatever carbs and sugar you can get your hands on.

The next day…self-loathing hits you like a tons of bricks. You feel sick, still full from the night before. You are ridden with guilt and shame. Disgusted with yourself. “What’s wrong with me?”, you ask.  “Why do I do this?” “All of my hardwork…now I need to go to the gym just to work it off “.

This can occur from a fight with a spouse, boredom, loneliness, family, going home, stress from work or from life.

There are a multitude of triggers for binges. The key is finding yours. (Tweet it)

Binges are an onset of emotions. What’s interesting is we turn to food because our bodies actually want to make us feel better. At an early age, we were taught to view food as something to make us feel good. When we fell down or did something well, we were rewarded with food, (usually candy or very fattening and highly processed foods). Think about it – if you fell down, you got ice cream. If your team won a game, you went out for pizza and ice cream. Food was instant gratification to bring you happiness, ease pain, or make you feel fulfilled.

There is a stigma around emotional eating. Saying you’re an emotional eater can not only feel wrong, but feel shameful. What’s interesting is that most people’s eating is driven by their emotions over their physical hunger. You don’t have to be obese to be an emotional eater and you don’t have to classify yourself with an “eating disorder”.

This process is about recognizing the “Why Factor” so you can do a course correct. Learn from your binges. They are lessons.

Binges are a way to escape or suppress bad feelings, to gain control and to feel good feelings instead – know this to be true. So the next time, ask yourself, “Why am I reaching for food?” Identifying your triggers is the most direct and effective way to get to the root cause.

Challenge:

Identify your triggers by asking yourself these 3 questions:

  1. What happened in that situation that set me off?
  2. What are trigger situations for me? Meaning, where do you not feel in control or find yourself always overeating or binging?
  3. What am I really hungry for? What happened then that made me upset and why?

How to Recover:

  1. Identify your triggers.
  2. Forgive yourself and learn from your experience – know there is unhealed pain or lack of fulfillment or patterned behavior driving your actions.
  3. Today is a new day – the past is the past, you are in control of your actions, thoughts and emotions moving forward.
  4. Drink tons of water with lemon to help your body digest.

Take positive actions and make today a fabulous day!

Focus on Your Pluses – Radiance Factor on VividLife Radio with Supermodel Emme

By Michelle Phillips

imagesFor many of us what is holding us back from feeling beautiful has nothing to do with what’s actually in the mirror, it’s how we feel about ourselves.  And how we feel about ourselves can be a product of negative self-talk that we listen to that tells us, “I’m not good enough, pretty enough, smart enough or rich enough too!” The question is; where does this self-talk come from?

While it could be from someone outside of ourselves who we allowed to get into our heads, it is more commonly coming from our own minds as part of what is now being thought of as the “comparison trap.” The comparison trap stems from years of programming from a variety of places that might include images we see in the media, our up-bringing, friends or family members, and it is a debilitating need to base our own self-worth on others rather than the strengths within ourselves.

A prime example happened to me the other day when I picked up a woman’s health magazine while in line at the grocery store and on the cover was a famous work out diva in a bikini. Although I had just finished a one hour Pilates class that totally kicked my butt I looked at this cover and said to myself, “I will never look like that no matter how much I try.”

My next thought, which was a bit more comforting was that as a stylist who has worked on thousands of photo shoots I know the truth about what goes into creating the facade of perfection of that “perfect” image. You see the models don’t even look like the images we see in the media.  First they go through hours of makeup and hair, get placed under perfect lighting and then the images are digitally enhanced.  The same goes for TV and Film.  Sadly, not everyone is privy to that emotionally soothing knowledge and it hurts.

On top of that, the exhausting and sometimes depressing images of perfection aren’t just of people, we have perfect images of homes on HGTV, and food on cooking shows, and then we all have those friends who recreate everything they see on TV and magazines which really make us feel inadequate. That constant focus on what we don’t have, or how what we have isn’t as good as someone else’s is negative weight, a weight that is crushing down upon us more each day.

How are we ever going to feel good about our lives, families, jobs, our look or our bodies if we are comparing ourselves to other people?

Recently I had the honor of spending some time on my VividLife Radio Show, The Radiance Factor, with Emme, who is a powerful example of the beauty and strength it takes to rise above this “programming” we are all fighting. You may know her from magazines, as a women’s advocate for positive body image and self esteem, author, and sought after national lecturer or appearances on Oprah, the Today Show, CNN and many more.  She did all that and was voted one of People magazines most “beautiful people” and she did all being true to who she is as a “plus-size” model!

Throughout her life and career she has learned many lessons about what beauty should mean to each of us and when it comes down to it, what is truly important and how to focus on that.

Two that really stuck out for me were;

-In the United States the average size for a woman is 14 yet designers create and display clothes for models. Seeing these images of small, perfect women is damaging to our psyches and makes feeling good about ourselves in the clothes that are available to us emotionally difficult. Size does not define you!  Rip the tags out!  When you see images that are “perfect” remember, they aren’t real!  Even supermodels don’t look in person like they do in magazines.

-After being diagnosed in 2008 with Stage 2 Hodgkins disease she had time for deep reflection during chemotherapy and wondered, “Am I happy?”  She realized that she wasn’t truly happy and decided to make a change.

Which leads to a question I have for you.  If you were suddenly diagnosed with a terrible disease or told that you only had days left here on Earth…would you really focus on how you looked or would you focus on being happy?  Why is it that we don’t see the beauty in our lives?  Why do we focus on what others have as our point of reference for happiness?

It’s time to stop comparing ourselves to others, let go of labeling ourselves by our size or possessions, and live our lives according to what really matters.

As we part I want to leave you with one thought and that is to start filling your heart and mind with only positive thoughts about ourselves!  Write down what is right about you, your life, and how you look.  What are your unique gifts and talents!  That my friends, is your radiance Factor!  Let is shine!

You can listen to the actual radio broadcast with Emme here: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/vividliferadio/2013/09/17/super-model-emme-focusing-on-your-pluses

Norwegian-Breakaway-SlideJoin the amazing Emme on the high seas to have a blast feeling better about who you are! https://www.emmecruise.com/

Radiance Factor on VividLife Radio debuted with Anita Moorjani

Recently-Updated2It was an amazing first week for my new radio show The Radiance Factor on VividLife Radio. I can’t thank you all enough for listening, your wonderful feedback, and of course the show’s producer Shayne Travis and my guest Anita Moorjani for sharing their inspirational gifts.

I was very excited about debuting the show with Anita as she exemplifies the message of awakening to our true beauty and sharing it with the world that I hope to make the theme of every show. After battling cancer for 4 years Anita was near the end of her fight; her body was covered in tumors, lungs filled with fluid, in a wheelchair and only able to breathe with the help of an oxygen tank she slipped in to a coma.

At that time Anita was given hours to live by doctors and in the midst of this experience, she was given a level of clarity and peace that told her you will you not die, you will LIVE…you will LOVE yourself…and teach others the power of this amazing gift. She was felt connected to herself and everyone else on a deeper level of pure love that she ever felt imaginable. Anita was reconnected with friends and relatives who had gone on given lessons beyond forgiveness to a level of unconditional acceptance and inspired to return to share these blessings with others.

Upon waking from this coma she healed herself from her Stage 4 cancer and documented her experiences and lessons in her NY Times bestseller “Dying to be me…” which has also been featured on Wayne Dyer’s PBS special “Wishes Fulfilled”, Fox and Friends, CNN, and more.

While we talked about her experiences that surrounded her awakening it was the many takeaways from her life before and after that I want to be sure to share with you:

  • The first lesson Anita shared was that she felt much was that so much of our sickness self-imposed pressure that we place upon ourselves. The pressure to conform to societies, customs, and the beliefs of others that are not in alignment with ourselves, manifests inside of us to make us physically and mentally ill. On the “other side” love was unconditional, it transcended race, beliefs, gender, and the message to gain was that in order to enjoy this life we should work to move beyond these pressures.
  • Along with that came the powerful lesson is self-acceptance. Throughout her life she was bullied, discriminated against, and in turn, joined in the fight with others by beating herself up. Like many of us, she was steeped in self-doubt and buried in question that left her thinking; Why am I so harsh on myself?  Suppressing my creativity to please others?  Seeking approval?  Tough on myself? Before you can see the beauty in life or others you have to start by seeing the beauty in you! The beholder right?
  • Next was her awareness to the power of acceptance which came from a feeling of reconnection to her father with whom she had a difficult relationship and who had died 10 years earlier. This experience provided insights into both our relationships on Earth and to those spirits who have gone on that forgiveness is not enough. To forgive someone still acknowledges the wrong between you, unconditional acceptance however gives power to the connection between people that releases each of you to love freely.

The most meaningful lesson Anita says she learned from being at death’s door is that unless we love ourselves, nothing else in our lives can function at their best. The amount of depth, meaning, and joy we experience in my life is in direct proportion to how much love we have for ourselves. The amount of love, kindness, patience we have for others is also directly proportional to how much love, patience and kindness we have for ourselves, because we cannot give others what we ourselves do not have. And, unsurprisingly, the amount of love, respect, support, and compassion I receive from others is also in direct proportion to how much of the same I have for myself.

Her life is much more joyful and meaningful now, and she says she has much more love to share with others than ever before, which she does unconditionally.. But most important, she now understands that if we do not express our authenticity, the Universe will be deprived of who we came here to be.

Be you, as you were meant to be.

You can listen to the actual radio broadcast with Anita Moorjani here: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/vividliferadio/2013/09/10/anita-moorjani-dying-to-be-me

A Sneaky Weight Loss Secret

by Renee Heigel

Love HandleI want to share one of the best secrets to weight loss I’ve ever learned.  It’s a core shift in focus that changes everything. But before I tell you about that, let me explain what happened to a client of mine recently…

She’s in her bathroom, putting on makeup, it is taking forever. All she wants is to feel attractive. She feels exhausted, unsexy and lethargic…  None of her clothes fit and nothing looks good. Moments ago, as she took off outfit #8, she sat for a moment on her bed in anguish and pain. She’s embarrassed, but this will have to do. It’s time to go.

She turns off the light and walks down the hall and then she sees him.

She’s nervous and excited. Early morning’s to work out, drinking and eating all of these healthy things. She is trying…

Her husband is standing at the end of the hall and she is yearning for him to simply notice her. He looks at her and says, “ready to go, we’re going to be late”.  He doesn’t see her, check her out or notice her outfit.

He says nothing more and then turns his back to go grab the keys…

She was DYING to be seen, to be appreciated.  But it was like she was invisible.  (And that wasn’t even the worst part…)

I’ll tell you about the worst part in just a sec.   For now one of the most important lessons I’ve ever learned…

Here’s something you should know about me:  I do not own a scale.

And, if you are my client, then you’ll know that I’ve probably told you to throw yours away too.

As far as I’m concerned, you have no use for a scale in your house.

A lot of my clients feel incredibly anxious when I challenge them with this…

But here’s the deal:  Your scale keeps you focused on LACK.

When you use a scale you are thinking about what you don’t want.

Yes, you might imagine the day you lose those 15 pounds and you see it on the scale…

BUT…

Before you step that little toe up onto your scale, there is an unconscious fear that sucks you into a fearful vortex.

It’s screaming, “please, please, please… weigh less than or at least the same as I weighed last time.”

And then you see the result and you’re never happy.

You cannot win at this point.

Back to our story of my lovely client.

She returned home from her evening out, weighed herself immediately to see if there was difference in her weight. She gained 2 pounds. She is feeling fat, ugly and depressed. Her man didn’t noticed her and she ate like a bird all night for fear of that measurement on her scale sliding forward and she stilled gained weight!?

When her husband fell asleep, do you know what she did?

She got up in the middle of the night and pulled the tub of chocolate marshmallow ice cream out of the fridge and sat at the table and ate it all until it was gone.

It filled that empty void that she didn’t get filled up earlier, but not for long.

She tossed and turned until she fell back to sleep, feeling horrible and like she had failed yet again.

Guess what, she woke up and got on the scale once again only to see that the number had moved by a pound.

If you can only do one thing, then do this:

Make a choice to: Show up for yourself. Listen to your body and ask yourself: How do I feel right now?

It’s not about the scale.

It’s about loving yourself.

If you are stuck in a similar pattern then comment below.

With love,

Renee “no scale” Heigel

Have You Hit a Plateau?

By Melissa Kathryn

1364227_55425257I’m not just necessarily just talking about a weight loss plateau or a fitness plateau, but a life plateau, where everything seems stagnant.  You find yourself going through the motions of life but not really being present and enjoying.  It can seem like you’re an observer of your own life.  Do you know what I’m talking about?

I have clients come to me often feeling this way, sometimes in one particular area but often times it’s overall.  What do you do when the scale isn’t moving, when your fitness routine no longer gives you the same results, when your job doesn’t excite you or your relationship is lacking passion and your life, lacking fun?

What can happen is we feel drained, overwhelmed and exhausted because we continually go back to our old ways of doing, hoping to get our desired results.

Radiance Challenge:

This is when I like to do a reframe exercise, which is when you take your current way of doing something and reframe it.  There are two components, a mental reframe and a physical reframe.

Mental Reframe – look at your circumstance and your perception, instead of having a negative energy behind your efforts, change your view point and look at it from a place of empowerment.  You are in control and you can create whatever experience you choose to have.

Physical Reframe  – this is your next action – what are the new action steps to get you where you want to be.

When you are experiencing a plateau in weight loss – simple tweaks around food that will make all the difference. Go back to the basics and listen to your body.  Take your mind out of it.  Take all of the crazy diets and things you read for quick weight loss and go back to what works for your body, what FEELS good for you.

When you are experiencing a plateau in fitness – again, change your routine – you should change your fitness routine every 6-8 weeks for your body to give you optimal results and to continually challenge your muscles.  Add intervals and plyos or sprints to your cardio – add strength training if you don’t have that component, and if you do – add more resistance or more repetitions depending on your desired goal.

When you are experiencing a plateau in relationships – mix it up, add some sizzle, have fun and let go.  Communicate your desires with your partner.

When you are experiencing a plateau in life – take a time out, plan a vacation or find time for you, even if just a few quiet minutes alone.  Create your own oasis.  Fuel your tank so you are not left depleted.

Sometimes, it’s simply changing your daily routine, walk a different path, take a different train, shop at different stores, try new things and a new way of doing things.  Mix up your own life – You are in control!

This doesn’t need to be hard and shouldn’t feel taxing, it should feel exciting!

I’m personally doing a reframe on my current routine.  I’m so excited and looking forward to leaving the NYC for a bit to spend some time at the beach during the summer months.  I love being near the water and fresh air, my body and spirit crave it as much as my mind.

Figure out what you need and make it happen! Sometimes it’s simple changes that can make all of the difference.  Start small but know you are always in control and are the creator of your own body, life and experience.

Wedding Looks

By Megan Alice Arterberry

I got a question about what to wear to a wedding. In fact, she has three weddings to attend! One is at the beach, another at a vineyard, and a formal affair over the summer and into fall. While choosing pieces, I had in mind the longevity of each piece for her wardrobe. I have learned over the years, through trial and error, the value of price-per-wear. Here are my wedding looks :

Beach and Vineyard Wedding: One Look for Both Weddings! (Luckily they don’t have the same guests!)

Formal Wedding: 

  • The lace dress is great for formal events.
  • The nude patent pumps are low and designed for comfort, and Kate Middleton has proven that nude patent pumps go with everything formal – even Camilla’s on board!
  • The use of the same clutch and jewelry prove how good these pieces are!

I also found two more looks that might work for all three weddings!

  • The coral shades of the pink dress and orange wrap are perfect for the transition of summer to fall.
  • The pearl bracelet gives a beachy yet classic feel.
  • The low sandals give comfort and has both quality and value, in which J.Crew is prized for.
  • The same clutch and earrings!

or…

  • The deep purple dress, both flowy and formal, compliments the lilac wrap.
  • The same great sandals but in silver to work better with the purple hues.
  • My favorite clutch and jewelry finish the look off nicely!

Plus, here are a few tips:

  • Go to Nordstrom for undergarments – they measure for proper fitting
  • A short nail with pale pink polish – simple, clean, and pretty
  • Mineral Makeup – great for your skin
  • Hair in a low chignon or a slicked low ponytail with a side part – great for wind
  • Natural perfume – easy on the nose for sensitive guests (jasmine is my favorite scent for summer)

What I Gave Up Because I Felt Fat

By Melissa Kathryn

scaleHave you ever stayed in because you felt fat? Missed a party, didn’t go on a date? Even worse, declined going on a trip or vacation because you didn’t like your body and the thought of being in a bathing suit put your mind into a complete frenzy?

I recall several instances in my life where I did not go on trips, made up excuses to not go out and didn’t attend parties, date or events because I “felt” fat.  I look back now and I get frustrated at the experiences I could have had.  Instead I chose not to go, which is essentially choosing isolation.  What happened next? I would feel even worse for not going, which would lead to emotional eating, then self loathing…and the cycle continues.

Does this resonate with you? Can you recall a time when you chose, willingly to miss out on life because of your weight?

By staying in isolation, by choosing to say “No” to life, you are missing out on life, living and experience joy.  It is through isolation that we continue to deprive ourselves of happiness.

Here are simple steps that you can do to ensure you stop missing out on life and start living it!

  1. It begins with Self-Acceptance – start to learn to love yourself and your body exactly as it is.  Weight is weight, you are you are your core – you have to begin by loving her (your body) and accepting her no matter her size, shape or the way she looks.
  2. You body is your temple – care for it. It provides you with everything you ask it to do.  Be kind and loving, nourish your body with movement and food.
  3. Say “YES” to life – be you and the rest will come.
  4. Recognize that “You” are judging yourself, whatever thoughts you have, they are not the thoughts of anyone else.  Work to get out of your head and into your heart for yourself.

Once you do this, the fulfillment you will find from the pleasure of being around others and the experiences you will have, food and your weight will become an after-thought.

The Best Foundation for Your Beauty

Image

By Michelle Phillips

One of the most common beauty questions women find themselves asking is, “What is the best foundation?” This seemingly shallow but daunting question is the subject of countless articles, TV segments, and conversations, in which we are totally engrossed. And as much as generations may have searched the world over for a miraculous product to give them the “perfect” look, let the search be over.  The perfect foundation for your true beauty doesn’t get applied to you on the outside, it lies within you and radiates out!

So at this point you may have a new question, rather than “What is the best foundation”, you may be wondering “How do I develop mine?” The start of that answer is remarkably similar to how we select the best makeup.  Have ever looked in the mirror while trying a new shade of lipstick or eye shadow and it made you smile? By looking in that same mirror for the natural beauty that is you, and simply smiling, you are creating a layer of foundation. You are putting on a foundation of self-love that could never be found at a makeup counter.

Look again. Do you see the beautiful color of your eyes? The depth of your soul behind them? Take a moment to make a mental note of all the beauty that you see in just those eyes. Now go a step farther by actually writing it down. Are there wrinkles around your eyes from years of smiling, sun, laughter, and tears? Continue through the features you love on your face and move on to your body. If you are having trouble finding the glory of you, remember how each of these amazing parts serve you on your journey.

When you are done collecting all of your beautiful external qualities the real foundation building can begin. Take a minute to think of twenty of your most gorgeous internal qualities. It can be your sense of humor, generosity, curiosity, adventure, caring, intelligence, or anything else you think makes you unique. This is a very important exercise because even more than your facial features or fingerprints, it is this combination of personal attributes that makes you a one-of-a-kind work of art. You are a stunning original that has never been done before and never will again in this exact form.

As you discover and build your “foundation” you will find that you radiate a new, deeper beauty that can’t compare to the mere external. You will begin to experience some of the very important differences between a cosmetic foundation and a deeper spiritual one.

First, is the strength of the foundation itself. While the makeup layer may be microscopically thin, the spiritual foundation spreads far and wide across every aspect of your life. In addition, at the end of any day, you can wipe away your makeup and the thin veneer of so-called beauty is gone. Meanwhile, your beautiful internal qualities continue shine bright.

Also, makeup styles may change with the times, your age, complexion, and for any occasion, but the enduring power of your passion and compassion, courage and character, never go out of style.

Once you have taken the time for this self-discovery you can start to build a life of authenticity on this foundation. It is with this strength of knowing who you truly are that will afford you a life based on what you think and feel, according to your values and purpose. This is a life of true beauty that can beyond any trend and that only gets better with age.

Michelle Phillips is a celebrity makeup artist and Life Coach, speaker, and author of the bestselling beauty and self-esteem book from Hay House, “The Beauty Blueprint: 8 Steps to Building the Life and Look of Your Dreams”. http://www.michellephillips.com

Three Essentials

3Skincare

1. Dry Brush

2. Body Oil

3. Epsom Salt 

The best way to use these three essentials is in a row. First you dry brush, then apply the body oil (such as Almond), then take an Epsom salt bath. It seems a strange to use oil before a bath or shower but in Ayurveda, an ancient art of healing from India, this is recommended as a self massage in their Abhyanga treatment, a healing technique, improving circulation and calming the nervous system. Dry brushing allows you to eliminate those shower gloves and body scrubs. A dry brush exfoliates your skin gently by brushing toward your heart on dry skin, improving circulation and cellulite as well. These two simple steps of dry brushing and oiling are recommended as a daily routine. An Epsom salt bath, on the other hand, may not be practical for everyday but should be part of your weekly routine. Epsom salt alleviates sore muscles and inflammation as well as detoxifies. A great way to top off this simple foundation of body care is add fresh lemon wedges to your water to help alkaline your PH and hydrate your body.

Love the body you have…TODAY!

by Celebrity Makeup Artist, Self-Esteem Coach, and Bestselling Author Michelle Phillips

Love the body you have today!

It’s no small secret that women don’t like their bodies. In fact, I’ve been doing a little research and I am sad to report that recent statistics say that more than 80% of women are dissatisfied with their bodies. Even more troubling is that 65% of young girls think they are fat and are already dieting. Ladies of all ages, this has got to change!

As a celebrity makeup artist and stylist the first things I usually hear when when working with a client is “can you cover this up” or “could you make me look 10 pounds thinner?” With the right makeup, lighting, and airbrushing anything is possible in front of the camera, but in real life- the Life Coach in me has to take over from there. That bit of “cover-up” is best if it comes from inside.

I can tell you from working with hundreds of women that the latest diet or workout won’t be the key to having a body you love. Believing in who you are, and in how you look… is the foundation to achieving what you truly want out of life. I know this isn’t always an easy thing to do but freeing yourself of negative thoughts is a huge step towards living a truly beautiful life and achieving a healthy body. The first, and possibly the most crucial step on that path though, is to start loving the body you have right now.

Here are some suggestions to do just that:

Create an “I love myself because…” list 

First, write down 20 things that you love about yourself.  Your list may include your personality, kind heart, your sense of humor, compassion, smile, elbows, feet, etc.   Include your talents and achievements, or various ways you’re proud of yourself.  If you have trouble with this exercise think about what your best friend would say about you.  It’s time to be your own best friend!

Take notice of the beauty around you

Take a deeper look at nature surrounding you.  It may be a tree, mountains, clouds, the moon, butterfly, a flower…is it perfect?   Does it have imperfections, maybe a few blemishes on a leaf? Start to notice the beauty around you.  Train your mind to let go of the “imperfections” and revel in what makes things uniquely beautiful.

Delete Negative Self-Talk 

Every time you hear yourself talking negatively about how you look…STOP!  Who needs another critic? Instead, turn that inner dialogue into positive self-talk.  You have the power to focus on what is great about you right now by deleting the negative thoughts whenever they show up.

Appreciate your beautiful body 

Women are familiar with their face but not necessarily their body.  Start to look at your body in the mirror.  Study your shape and find the beauty.  Notice how your body supports you and your daily life.  Our bodies are beautiful vessels that transport our gorgeous souls.

Cut the tags out of your clothes! 

Don’t buy a closet full of clothes that are too tight for you to fit into hoping that you’ll be in them soon – those are just guilt garments that don’t make you feel good when you open your closet. Buy and wear clothes that fit the body you have today.  They call it a “fitting room” for a reason.  Size doesn’t matter; it is all about how you feel in your clothes.  By dressing the body you have today will help increase your self-esteem and in-turn unnecessary weight will begin to fall away.  When you feel better about yourself, you take better care of yourself.  It’s that simple!